Hello Liaoyan:
Because of the length and subject matter of your article, I decided to write a review in a new format. I hope you won't mind, but please be careful.
1. The cover image and book title are quite satisfactory, the author's name is a bit literary, the font of the copywriting is not eye-catching enough, lacks necessary blank lines, and appears too dense. The introduction is a bit naive (the most important thing is that it can't be the tone of Sister Lin's speech, you will be fucked up by Sister Lin's fans and sophisticated party members), and there are also typos (excuse it, not include it)
2. Lin Daiyu CP Snape, this is the thunder of countless people - I sincerely admire your courage and unbridled imagination for being able to connect or even pair two people with completely opposite personalities. I can guarantee that at least 95% of the people who clicked on it will feel blinded and silently click the cross. The weird value is the MAX I saw in the HP article.
3. Since you don't intend to write the character of Sister Lin, why do you have to explain that she is Sister Lin many times? Isn't the originality good? Is there any plan for Mary Sue? What is the special hair color setting (why did you choose violet, a vulgar color that is so popular in the morning novel circle)? Let me guess, do you want to make Snape and her happy at the same time? Even if you love them no matter how much you love them, you still have to take into consideration their personalities, cultural generation gap, and the real situation...
4. Before reading the article, I had to question "This is too unreliable. Can she really withstand any round of poison sprayed by the director of the snake hospital?" Later, I simply forgot that this was Sister Lin, so that I could read on without any prejudice. Speaking of which, there seems to be no character with purple hair and purple eyes in real life (the closest one seems to be Seiichi Yukimura in WW), but there is absolutely no such character in HP - its reference is more realistic, but your strange setting makes the entire plot of the article completely fantasy.
5. The first forty or so chapters are so bland that they can destroy one's desire to read. The plots and plots that could obviously be very passionate or heart-warming are unfortunately made full of sourness by your thin and pseudo-sad descriptions. What's even more sad is that in your writing, Lucius is so OOC that he is twisted into a mess, like a cowardly and pretentious aristocrat. In short, he doesn't have any of the characteristics of "existence symbolizes nobility and elegance" in the movie or the original novel.
6. Whenever I almost forget that Diane is Lin Daiyu, you will narrate her memories of Baoyu. Seriously speaking, both the emotional description and the sensory description are a bit nondescript...
7. The number of words in each chapter is the most suitable arrangement for reading. It is neither too many nor too few. This deserves praise.
8. The writing style hovers between a quasi-literary style and a quasi-translation style, which is slightly inconsistent. In fact, even if you choose to completely lean towards one of them, it will be much better.
9. The land will not be divided.
10. It can be seen that both the use of language and the plot design have been strengthened a lot after 50 chapters. Sadly, most readers ran away in the early stage, but only those who persist can see the rainbow.
11. The interaction between the two is well written and sweet.
12. The wording does not need to be so gorgeous and extravagant. Try to be simple, which can also reflect your increasingly precise word control skills and application level. This is the difference between the nouveau riche and Bill Gates.
13. The punctuation marks are used very accurately, which is good.
14. The method of scene transition changes from stiff at the beginning to natural at the end. Good.
15. Very delicate.
16. Regarding the deputy CP, it is recommended that you don't use co-stars here and there. It would be better to give readers more room for imagination. Too many descriptions in the text will offend people and steal the limelight from the protagonist.
17. When I saw the 'little goblin' in Rou's place, I was shocked as usual. Did you do it deliberately...
18. Try to avoid the use of dividing lines. This method of changing the scene is actually very lazy and blunt. It doesn't work. It will be the same if you add an empty line.
19. It is best to change the modern words that appear in psychological activities and conversations, such as 'YY' and 'aversion to cold'. Well, after all, Lin Daiyu is not a modern person... Even if she is an ordinary ancient woman, she should not know these words, and the professor is even less likely to teach her.
20. If your protagonist is not Lin Daiyu, I will definitely be more tolerant of you.
I hope you are still alive... If it hurts you, please take Suxiao Jiuxin Pill immediately and delete this comment.
In any case, I believe your next article will be much better, but if the CP is too... Unpopular, I'd better reconsider it.
In addition, I admire your persistence and perseverance to complete it smoothly instead of unfinished. I can feel your true author's heart.
[Unreliable Long Review Shop-Wu Lonely]
What is the group number? .
Congratulations on the completion, by the way... Secretly post Chapter 88 in the group =-=
Is there room for a guest appearance?
Sprinkle flowers and congratulations on the completion! Xiaoyu has made great progress!
Well~~~~~~~~(((Staring silently at Yuyu
You have an ID card when you are 16 years old.
Poor baby. ,,,
Can I say that it is appropriate for this group of unscrupulous readers to force a 17-year-old minor to write H? ? ?
Hello Liaoyan: Because of the length and subject matter of your article, I decided to write a review in a new format. I hope you won't mind, but please be careful. 1. The cover image and book title are quite satisfactory, the author's name is a bit literary, the font of the copywriting is not eye-catching enough, lacks necessary blank lines, and appears too dense. The introduction is a bit naive (the most important thing is that it can't be the tone of Sister Lin's speech, you will be fucked up by Sister Lin's fans and sophisticated party members), and there are also typos (excuse it, not include it) 2. Lin Daiyu CP Snape, this is the thunder of countless people - I sincerely admire your courage and unbridled imagination for being able to connect or even pair two people with completely opposite personalities. I can guarantee that at least 95% of the people who clicked on it will feel blinded and silently click the cross. The weird value is the MAX I saw in the HP article. 3. Since you don't intend to write the character of Sister Lin, why do you have to explain that she is Sister Lin many times? Isn't the originality good? Is there any plan for Mary Sue? What is the special hair color setting (why did you choose violet, a vulgar color that is so popular in the morning novel circle)? Let me guess, do you want to make Snape and her happy at the same time? Even if you love them no matter how much you love them, you still have to take into consideration their personalities, cultural generation gap, and the real situation... 4. Before reading the article, I had to question "This is too unreliable. Can she really withstand any round of poison sprayed by the director of the snake hospital?" Later, I simply forgot that this was Sister Lin, so that I could read on without any prejudice. Speaking of which, there seems to be no character with purple hair and purple eyes in real life (the closest one seems to be Seiichi Yukimura in WW), but there is absolutely no such character in HP - its reference is more realistic, but your strange setting makes the entire plot of the article completely fantasy. 5. The first forty or so chapters are so bland that they can destroy one's desire to read. The plots and plots that could obviously be very passionate or heart-warming are unfortunately made full of sourness by your thin and pseudo-sad descriptions. What's even more sad is that in your writing, Lucius is so OOC that he is twisted into a mess, like a cowardly and pretentious aristocrat. In short, he doesn't have any of the characteristics of "existence symbolizes nobility and elegance" in the movie or the original novel. 6. Whenever I almost forget that Diane is Lin Daiyu, you will narrate her memories of Baoyu. Seriously speaking, both the emotional description and the sensory description are a bit nondescript... 7. The number of words in each chapter is the most suitable arrangement for reading. It is neither too many nor too few. This deserves praise. 8. The writing style hovers between a quasi-literary style and a quasi-translation style, which is slightly inconsistent. In fact, even if you choose to completely lean towards one of them, it will be much better. 9. The land will not be divided. 10. It can be seen that both the use of language and the plot design have been strengthened a lot after 50 chapters. Sadly, most readers ran away in the early stage, but only those who persist can see the rainbow. 11. The interaction between the two is well written and sweet. 12. The wording does not need to be so gorgeous and extravagant. Try to be simple, which can also reflect your increasingly precise word control skills and application level. This is the difference between the nouveau riche and Bill Gates. 13. The punctuation marks are used very accurately, which is good. 14. The method of scene transition changes from stiff at the beginning to natural at the end. Good. 15. Very delicate. 16. Regarding the deputy CP, it is recommended that you don't use co-stars here and there. It would be better to give readers more room for imagination. Too many descriptions in the text will offend people and steal the limelight from the protagonist. 17. When I saw the 'little goblin' in Rou's place, I was shocked as usual. Did you do it deliberately... 18. Try to avoid the use of dividing lines. This method of changing the scene is actually very lazy and blunt. It doesn't work. It will be the same if you add an empty line. 19. It is best to change the modern words that appear in psychological activities and conversations, such as 'YY' and 'aversion to cold'. Well, after all, Lin Daiyu is not a modern person... Even if she is an ordinary ancient woman, she should not know these words, and the professor is even less likely to teach her. 20. If your protagonist is not Lin Daiyu, I will definitely be more tolerant of you. I hope you are still alive... If it hurts you, please take Suxiao Jiuxin Pill immediately and delete this comment. In any case, I believe your next article will be much better, but if the CP is too... Unpopular, I'd better reconsider it. In addition, I admire your persistence and perseverance to complete it smoothly instead of unfinished. I can feel your true author's heart. [Unreliable Long Review Shop-Wu Lonely]
What is the group number? .
Congratulations on the completion, by the way... Secretly post Chapter 88 in the group =-=
Is there room for a guest appearance?
Sprinkle flowers and congratulations on the completion! Xiaoyu has made great progress!
Well~~~~~~~~(((Staring silently at Yuyu
You have an ID card when you are 16 years old.
Poor baby. ,,, Can I say that it is appropriate for this group of unscrupulous readers to force a 17-year-old minor to write H? ? ?
It's coming to an end! So fast!
Ending? ! I haven't had enough of it~