[Prince of Tennis] Missed Chances

Ah, why are we not together~ Oudi male god

The light writing style makes people have the urge to cry, but it stops abruptly at the end. I don't know why my tears have increased, but they haven't reached their lowest point in my eyes. I really like this article and want to ask a question! Maybe they weren't together in the end. 0.0 Is a bit like 5 centimeters per second

Comment on "[Net King] Missed" ——If love could be expressed earlier This is the first time I read a novel written by you. "[Net King] Missed" is not a very novel story. There are countless people writing such stories. It is like a cup of slightly bitter tea. After slowly drinking the tea in the cup, all that is left is the fragrance lingering in the air and the bitter taste lingering on the tip of the tongue. I haven't been exposed to "Net King" for many years, so I don't know what kind of character Tokugawa Kazuya is. I went to look at his profile and found that he was a steady and arrogant young man. His voice actor Daisuke Ono is my idol. Daisuke Namikawa, Daisuke Kishio, Daisuke Ono—I am a huge fan of these three. However, as I wrote at the beginning, after reading this article, although the story between Iku Miyajima and Kazuya Tokugawa is as refreshing as the fragrance of tea, all I can remember is the regretful missing ending. Other than that, there is nothing outstanding to attract people's hearts. In my opinion, every aspect of this article is too light, so light that it can be ignored. Short stories require an engaging plot and brilliant sentences. If you look closely at every sentence in this article, you will see that there are certainly some sentences with a literary and artistic flavor, but countless people can write these sentences at the same level. They are not astonishing for a moment, and they are not lingering in the heart. These sentences are useless and do not bring any benefit to this article. The plot is a very common plot, and the ending is also a very common ending. After reading their stories, I felt sad for the loss between them. But what I kept repeating over and over again was nothing more than: Really, this article was so bland, I didn't remember anything. The time interspersion of the article is quite well arranged. The timely interweaving of past and present reflects your certain writing style. The writing style is simple and light. This style of writing cannot be said to be very popular, but many readers in Jinjiang admire this style of writing, so what they need to see is the plain story that is engraved in their hearts subtly through the text. After reading it, you will feel warm and sad, and even before you know it, you will be overwhelmed by the words as quiet and beautiful as autumn leaves. There is no need for gorgeous words or pretentious and delicate emotional descriptions. Just writing carefully is enough. Your "blandness" is different from that kind of "blandness". You can't say that you don't care. But the kind of plainness I mentioned above is outstanding, and it can stay in people's hearts after writing it smoothly. And your "blandness" really hasn't touched my heart at all. That's it, I've finished reading it. Okay, here's the point. Every flower comes to every eye, and everyone has a different perspective. I don't know what other people think, but I think your writing style is no worse than others, but the article always lacks a kind of feeling. A kind of ignition that can attract a certain level of readers. A certain style of writing will be read by readers who like it, and plain writing will naturally be read by readers who like reading plain writing. But this does not mean that they like to read such unsatisfactory articles. The article must have a burning point, a burning point that can attract readers. I can't explain what this concept of ignition is, it seems to me to be indescribable in words. If you have to look at it in a far-fetched way, that is, look at the ordinary articles written by great masters. Why do their articles attract readers who like to read ordinary articles? It's not that there are loyal readers to follow the great god because he is a great god. I feel that no matter what kind of article it is, as long as it has this kind of ignition point, even if her article is not very good, people will read it. This is what editors need to see, a ignition point that brings benefits. This short story cannot mention too many bad things. Really, you are not worse than others in anything. What's bad is this element that can warm people's hearts and ignite them. The article must be able to infect people, and it cannot make people feel that they are just reading a paragraph of text or a composition. The article should stay in the reader's mind, no matter how long it takes. I think you should think about what kind of thing is missing in your article that makes people read it indifferently. Also, Japan is not China and would not use the term "junior high school student". Missing it means missing it, there are thousands and thousands of people. As Zhang Ailing wrote in "Half Life": We can never go back. If love could be spoken earlier, maybe everything would be different. But everyone knows that hypothetical scenarios are unrealistic. ——1/25/2013 11:04 PM [BY Tianshang Pingqi]

The style of happy complaints... Okay, I suddenly found that I couldn't write the style of happy complaints. Xiao Zhuzi, are you digging a hole waiting for me to dance TAT? Moreover, is it really a man to write a long review of a short story? Shake violently Ahem, cough, cough... I won't write nonsense to make up the word count, here's the main text: Short stories should be more difficult to write to a certain extent. I personally think they are more difficult to control than novels. Regardless of the concept, plot, or ending, all must be done in moderation. First of all, the number of words in short stories is relatively small, so more attention is paid to the condensation of words and sentences, and redundant words and sentences are not allowed in the work. When I first read your article, I intuitively judged that it could not be regarded as a short story. After reading the whole article, this feeling became stronger. The words are protracted, and the plot generally only maintains the description of one scene. Although memories are interspersed to enrich the scene, there are too few such fragments. I think more scenes can be summarized concisely to increase the content. Because short stories are different from novels, novels explain the story slowly at a slow pace, and then superimpose each plot and feelings about the characters, so that the ending can make people more immersed in the content of the novel. But short stories are different, and their memory capacity is different from that of novels, so it is important to control the development of the plot. Never let a short story become an abbreviation for one or several plots of a novel. Next, the idea of ​​​​the short story must be novel. A long novel can attract readers with a wonderful beginning, but a short story does not have extra space for you to create a different beginning. However, the main line and idea throughout the whole article are the same as other forms of novels. Sometimes people cannot see it at a glance. Sometimes its theme is not one, but diversified. Judging from Xiao Zhuzi's novel, it is simply a story about a girl and a boy who like each other but do not let each other know their feelings, and then meet a few years later. In the story, there are too many dialogues, and there are also too many descriptions of some expressions and movements, because these dialogues and descriptions cannot deepen the plot, but instead give people an intuitive feeling of dragging, so I think this is not good. This is also the question I want to talk about next, a closely structured question. Short stories require the author to compress and concentrate time, place, and characters as much as possible in terms of structure. In the end, the structure of the novel is concise and exquisite. Xiao Zhuzi's time in this article is concentrated in this section of the coffee shop. The only two characters in the overall situation are Miyajima Iku and Tokugawa Kazuya, so there is basically no problem. The last thing I want to talk about is the ending of the article. In fact, I think the ending of a short story should be novel, clever, and unexpected. However, a dull ending will not be offensive, but I think it must reflect some profound thoughts. For example, as Iku Miyajima described, because of the passage of time, even if what you like remains the same, you will never be able to return to the original feeling. I personally think this is good, and I like this way of ending apart but not together even more. The above are all general aspects, now let me talk about the details. Xiaozhuzi's writing style is still good, and there are no omissions in the description, which is considered relatively good. But I always feel a little awkward in terms of dialogue. If I look carefully, it must be a personal relationship. I'm not used to the somewhat archaic words in modern writing. After reading the whole article, I don't know if it's my imagination, but I always feel that Xiao Zhuzi may have brought me into it. And I think it might be more suitable for Xiao Zhuzi to write a novel. Finally... I realized that I was really complaining about my incompetence... Covering my face