Forgot the Memories

I have only written 8,000 words, so I don't know how many comments I can make... I'm sorry, sir, because I read it in a hurry, I didn't examine many parts carefully, so here are just my first impressions after reading the article. If I say something wrong, just ignore me. 1. The author's writing style is steady and delicate, and the foreshadowing of the previous and later plots is relatively reasonable. The story unfolds step by step, and the description is detailed but not flashy. As far as writing is concerned, it's pretty good. 2. This is a love story between a man who inherits other people's memories and a woman who can't forget her dead boyfriend. Therefore, it is necessary to tell the causes and consequences, as well as the sweet life of the two in the past, but too much, and the random use of narrative and recall techniques will make the article confusing. The heroine's memories often start to wander without any sign, and then return to reality without any sign, which makes people look dizzy. I personally think that if you want to use narrative, you have to go to two extremes. If it is just to explain the reasons for what is happening now, that is, the focus is to describe the "things" that are happening now, then two or three sentences and narratively will be enough. If you want to fully explain the cause and effect of the matter, that is, the focus is to describe why someone wants to do this and describe the "psychology", then simply bring the entire scene back to the past and describe the cause and effect of the matter in detail. There are too many narrations in the adult novels, and they are all long descriptive narrations. They have a beginning but no end. They have a good sense of the scene but lack of logic, which makes people feel dizzy. If you want to revise and polish the article, I think this is the first priority. 3. JJ has the function of dividing into chapters, so please don't divide the article into chapters again... Silently... Mo, this is just Xi'er's casual feeling. If there is anything wrong, just ignore it.

JJ has segments, so adults please don't segment yourself, otherwise what's the point of segmenting JJ? In addition, the place where the narrative is inserted should be clearly distinguished from the present, otherwise it will confuse the readers. Sometimes, foreshadowing is much better than explaining the cause and effect everywhere.

The writing is melancholy and lingering, and the atmosphere is well created. The shortcomings I personally think are that the plot is a bit confusing. What the author knows in his heart may not be clear to the reader. In addition, the story lacks a climax.

I am your loyal fan and have always liked your writing. Although I have never met you in person, I feel so close to you. I hope you can continue to work hard and write well.

I am your loyal fan and have always liked your writing. Although I have never met you in person, I feel so close to you. I hope you can continue to work hard and write well.