The Woman I Once Loved (GL)

That day,

I closed my eyes amid the incense smoke in the prayer hall,

and suddenly heard you reciting the sacred words.

That month,

I spun every prayer wheel, not to deliver souls,

but just to touch your fingertips.

That year,

I prostrated myself along the mountain road, not to pay my respects,

but just to feel your warmth.

That lifetime,

I crossed mountains and rivers and circled stupas, not to secure a better next life,

but just to meet you along the way.

That moment,

I raised prayer flags, not to pray for blessings,

but just to wait for your arrival.

That day,

I piled up mani stones, not to cultivate virtue,

but just to cast a pebble into the lake of your heart.

That night,

I listened to a whole night of Buddhist chants, not to seek enlightenment,

but just to find a trace of your presence.

That instant,

I transformed into an immortal on feathered wings, not to live forever,

but just to keep you safe and happy.

That day, that month, that year, that lifetime...

And yet, on that very night,

I forgot everything,

abandoned my faith and cast off the cycle of reincarnation,

all for the rose that once wept before the Buddha,

whose old luster had long since faded.

Cangyang Gyatso

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