Synopsis
[Parody Synopsis]
Graduation trip, falling off a cliff: damn it
Transmigrated and gravely injured, with no idea who I am: what a disaster
My cover is blown, and I'm stranded in the Three Kingdoms: what a rip-off
A divine weapon protects me, and my martial arts are peerless: Oh yeah
Past and present lives, all ordained by Heaven: yeah, right
[Character Synopsis]
Bai Muxiang: Actually, I only came to this other world to take it easy, eat and drink for free, and admire handsome guys. But I accidentally fell into one conspiracy and dangerous whirlpool after another, and ended up battered, bruised, and dizzy. Being the protagonist is exhausting.
Nangong Jin: I'm so envious of ordinary families, where fathers love their children and siblings get along. But as a prince, I'm destined for a life that is anything but ordinary. So, please grant me a slightly more ordinary wife. I fell for you the first time I saw you. I've been waiting for you to grow up, waiting for the day you'll marry me.
Bai Muxiang: Ahem, have we met?
Lang Zhongyun: I've spent half my life in a frenzy, never living for myself. For the time I have left, I just want to be myself. Would you come with me?
Bai Muxiang: Uncle, I'm against forbidden love!
Jun Lanyi: Stop calling me a kid. I want to compete with him on equal terms.
Bai Muxiang: Be good, little cutie. There's no such thing as absolute fairness in this world. You should go back and take up your very promising career as Crown Prince.
Nangong Yi: In this life and the last, I live only for you.
Bai Muxiang: Oh, how much money do I owe you that you're chasing me like this and won't leave me alone?
Li Ruo: As long as you're happy, that's enough for me.
Bai Muxiang: When everyone's doing well, that's when things are really good!
More handsome men will appear in due course...
[Bonus Scene One]
She cheerfully took off her costume and changed into her own clothes.
Outside, someone was singing, "My dear wife, we've been apart for half a year. Have you missed your husband...?" The deep male voice carried a hint of sorrow. Just hearing it seemed to conjure a gaze yearning for someone beyond reach, crossing the years of separation and traveling from thousands of mountains and rivers away to arrive at the far shore of longing.
What play was this from?
"Well, to be exact, it's been two hundred and eighteen days and five and a half hours." A pair of arms came around her from behind and drew her into an embrace.
A faint scent of dragon's saliva incense drifted over, along with the air of someone who had traveled far, carrying the wintry chill of falling snow, the delicate fragrance of wintersweet, and the bustle of horses' hooves.
This heartless woman! He had hurried here to see her without even stopping in Sanchuan, and she had the nerve to hide from him.
He lowered his head and rested it gently on her shoulder. His voice was languid, as if he had just been roused from a sweet dream by birdsong and flowers, with a hint of seduction beneath its laziness.
"Have you missed me?"
[Bonus Scene Two]
Ah! A magnified face appeared before her, wearing a roguish smile. The lips so close to hers gently breathed warm air on her.
"How was my taste, my dear Marquis? Not bad, right?" The face pulled away.
Only then did Xiao Bai realize she'd fallen asleep. At that moment, her head was resting on someone's thigh, and she was clutching his hand. Faint traces of water were visible on his wrist.
Bai Muxiang sprang to her feet and carefully checked her clothes. Thankfully, they were intact. She gave Lang Zhongyun a suspicious look. He rolled his eyes at her and said, "I kindly let you sleep, and you clung to me, then even pulled my sleeve aside..."
"All right, that's enough!" Bai Muxiang's face had turned bright red, and she couldn't listen any longer. Then she said suspiciously, "Who's to say you didn't do it on purpose, trying to take advantage of me?"
Lang Zhongyun leaned close and said quietly, "I'm not the least bit interested in women who grind their teeth, snore, talk in their sleep, and drool!"
[Bonus Scene Three]
"Go on, try some. I made it myself." A certain prince wore a mysterious look. "I had to ask the cook for advice for ages to get this right."
Bai Muxiang frowned. The fact that you'd made it yourself was exactly why it took courage to taste it. At least it smelled pretty good.
All right, if I don't go to hell, who will?
She summoned her courage, picked up a spoon, and put a spoonful in her mouth. Just as she was tasting it, Nangong Jin added, "Top-grade donkey-hide gelatin stewed with red dates and longan. It replenishes the blood and vital energy, and is the best tonic for women during their period..."
"Pfft..." Bai Muxiang's eyes widened in horror. "H-how did you know...?"
With a mouthful of top-grade donkey-hide gelatin stewed with red dates and longan, she nearly spat it out. She craned her neck and struggled to swallow.
This tonic was so nourishing that Xiao Bai's blood rushed to her cheeks, filling them with a rosy flush on the spot.
H-how did he know she had her period?
She even glanced suspiciously at her skirt. Sure, there were no Always or Whisper pads in this era, but the Xiao Bai brand sanitary pads she'd made herself were surely cleaner, more hygienic, and more leakproof than the ashes and herbs other girls used back then!
Nangong Jin reached out and gently patted Bai Muxiang on the back. He said softly, "Why are you so moved? I was just too busy. I should have learned to make you some ages ago. I didn't think I'd only get the chance when we were about to part. Oh, don't get so worked up. Easy now... You want to know how I found out? I guessed. Weren't you looking pale for a few days on the grasslands, with cold hands, and grumbling that your stomach hurt? All right, I'll stop. I don't know if my guess was right..."
Nangong Jin gradually fell silent beneath Bai Muxiang's murderous glare.
Bai Muxiang lowered her head and pressed one hand to her forehead. With the other, she quickly scooped up the lovingly prepared tonic and gulped down one spoonful after another.
"Don't rush. Take it slowly, or you'll choke. You see, I thought about it this way: the others gave you things like jade pendants and swords, so you'd think of them and miss them whenever you saw those things. Naturally, I didn't want to do the same. Wouldn't it be better to make you a nourishing tonic myself? I'm sure this bowl of donkey-hide gelatin with red dates and longan will leave a deep impression on you tonight. You'll think of me every month..."
"Pfft..." Xiao Bai, who had always thought she was remarkably composed, finally couldn't hold it in and spat it out.
Damn it!
I'll think of you every month?
At this time of the month, the people I think about are Always, Whisper, Sofy, and Freepoint...
This is a one-on-one romance. If you like it, please add it to your collection. Group hugs O(∩_∩)O~