Synopsis:
I, Qiu Hantian, have been the “fiancee” of a demon for two years.
Just as I was finally starting to think I might “marry” him and become his demon “bride,” an unprecedented crisis hit when I returned to China!
That stinking demon, that damned demon, that no-good demon actually... actually had an affair!
Damn it! And with none other than the professor I respect, who is also his fellow countryman: a demon!
Why did this happen!?
I don’t know why, but I... I really, really can’t accept it!
I swear I’ll win him back, no matter what!!!
But does he still have feelings for me? And are those feelings still the same as before?
(P.S. It’s been quiet, so I locked this.)
Theme: Know yourself and have the courage to pursue what you want
Since Mr. Cheese said that you don't need to focus on writing style, I would like to make some suggestions. (I don't know if the following points involve a lot of writing issues, I'm sorry~)
1. The scene changes too quickly and the jumps are large. It would be better if the chapters could be more compact, the context connection more flexible, and the details described more.
2. The character design of Han is too feminine and noobish. Although the novice is quite cute, but... How to put it, I really don't like people who are too simple and too suspicious (personal taste, personal taste`)...
3. There are too many supporting characters, and many of them are meaningless in this article (they just appear to be the protagonists in other articles to look familiar). In an article of only 50,000 to 60,000 yuan, too many supporting characters are troublesome.
4. The plot... Is too old and feels... Influenced by the Korean Wave. It develops too fast.
5. Regarding the intimate part (including the kiss and the interrupted H), is this the first time for Cheese to write? I feel that there are many sentences that imitate Taiwanese Xiaoyan and Tianleiwen... Anyway, it is not very comfortable to read...
6. The emotions are not delicate enough. I always feel that the liking of many characters in the article comes too suddenly, which is a bit confusing.
The above are comments about this. Please check it out. Some of it may be too subjective and one-sided, or some parts may be affected by personal emotions. If you feel that something is inappropriate, you can tell me about it and make corrections.
PS. It's very interesting. It can almost be said to be the most successful work of the adults.
I didn't score the last chapter, so I'll make up for it.
Since Mr. Cheese said that you don't need to focus on writing style, I would like to make some suggestions. (I don't know if the following points involve a lot of writing issues, I'm sorry~)
1. The scene changes too quickly and the jumps are large. It would be better if the chapters could be more compact, the context connection more flexible, and the details described more.
2. The character design of Han is too feminine and noobish. Although the novice is quite cute, but... How to put it, I really don't like people who are too simple and too suspicious (personal taste, personal taste`)...
3. There are too many supporting characters, and many of them are meaningless in this article (they just appear to be the protagonists in other articles to look familiar). In an article of only 50,000 to 60,000 yuan, too many supporting characters are troublesome.
4. The plot... Is too old and feels... Influenced by the Korean Wave. It develops too fast.
5. Regarding the intimate part (including the kiss and the interrupted H), is this the first time for Cheese to write? I feel that there are many sentences that imitate Taiwanese Xiaoyan and Tianleiwen... Anyway, it is not very comfortable to read...
6. The emotions are not delicate enough. I always feel that the liking of many characters in the article comes too suddenly, which is a bit confusing.
The above are comments about this. Please check it out. Some of it may be too subjective and one-sided, or some parts may be affected by personal emotions. If you feel that something is inappropriate, you can tell me about it and make corrections.
PS. It's very interesting. It can almost be said to be the most successful work of the adults.
I'm here to make up the points
Is that enough for 5 words?
Someone doesn't really want to read Bawang Wendi~
However, the plot is too compact, and I am really just anxious to click on the next chapter~~
= =Ah, reprinting is OK.
But I can only reprint this article "Sharing" and that "Distant Childhood" (original "Embarrassment")
Thank you for your support~~
= =This "Sharing" and "Distant Childhood" (formerly "Wolf") are OK, but the others are exempt~~
Thank you for your support
It's great that students can write such a short article. Give encouragement to a little flower. - -|||
Seeing Yao's N endings really makes me sweat.
Since Mr. Cheese said that you don't need to focus on writing style, I would like to make some suggestions. (I don't know if the following points involve a lot of writing issues, I'm sorry~) 1. The scene changes too quickly and the jumps are large. It would be better if the chapters could be more compact, the context connection more flexible, and the details described more. 2. The character design of Han is too feminine and noobish. Although the novice is quite cute, but... How to put it, I really don't like people who are too simple and too suspicious (personal taste, personal taste`)... 3. There are too many supporting characters, and many of them are meaningless in this article (they just appear to be the protagonists in other articles to look familiar). In an article of only 50,000 to 60,000 yuan, too many supporting characters are troublesome. 4. The plot... Is too old and feels... Influenced by the Korean Wave. It develops too fast. 5. Regarding the intimate part (including the kiss and the interrupted H), is this the first time for Cheese to write? I feel that there are many sentences that imitate Taiwanese Xiaoyan and Tianleiwen... Anyway, it is not very comfortable to read... 6. The emotions are not delicate enough. I always feel that the liking of many characters in the article comes too suddenly, which is a bit confusing. The above are comments about this. Please check it out. Some of it may be too subjective and one-sided, or some parts may be affected by personal emotions. If you feel that something is inappropriate, you can tell me about it and make corrections. PS. It's very interesting. It can almost be said to be the most successful work of the adults. I didn't score the last chapter, so I'll make up for it.
Since Mr. Cheese said that you don't need to focus on writing style, I would like to make some suggestions. (I don't know if the following points involve a lot of writing issues, I'm sorry~) 1. The scene changes too quickly and the jumps are large. It would be better if the chapters could be more compact, the context connection more flexible, and the details described more. 2. The character design of Han is too feminine and noobish. Although the novice is quite cute, but... How to put it, I really don't like people who are too simple and too suspicious (personal taste, personal taste`)... 3. There are too many supporting characters, and many of them are meaningless in this article (they just appear to be the protagonists in other articles to look familiar). In an article of only 50,000 to 60,000 yuan, too many supporting characters are troublesome. 4. The plot... Is too old and feels... Influenced by the Korean Wave. It develops too fast. 5. Regarding the intimate part (including the kiss and the interrupted H), is this the first time for Cheese to write? I feel that there are many sentences that imitate Taiwanese Xiaoyan and Tianleiwen... Anyway, it is not very comfortable to read... 6. The emotions are not delicate enough. I always feel that the liking of many characters in the article comes too suddenly, which is a bit confusing. The above are comments about this. Please check it out. Some of it may be too subjective and one-sided, or some parts may be affected by personal emotions. If you feel that something is inappropriate, you can tell me about it and make corrections. PS. It's very interesting. It can almost be said to be the most successful work of the adults.
I'm here to make up the points Is that enough for 5 words?
Someone doesn't really want to read Bawang Wendi~ However, the plot is too compact, and I am really just anxious to click on the next chapter~~
= =Ah, reprinting is OK. But I can only reprint this article "Sharing" and that "Distant Childhood" (original "Embarrassment") Thank you for your support~~
= =This "Sharing" and "Distant Childhood" (formerly "Wolf") are OK, but the others are exempt~~ Thank you for your support
It's great that students can write such a short article. Give encouragement to a little flower. - -|||
Come on! The story is novel and good.
Top one first Collect it and read it slowly