The Lover Within

I am so envious [crying] I will never be able to see him in person. There is simply no one who can occupy a corner of my heart in a love-related capacity. I have never been in love. But I can only see him in my dreams or when I look in the mirror, and he is me. He understands all my sorrows, pains and joys, Understand my forgotten sorrow and indescribable hatred, Understand my addiction to reality and my escape from fantasy, I understand my pair who don't want to be alone and don't like noise, Understand my true self that is used as embellishment on top of the disguise and pretense, Understand the morbidity buried deep in my heart and the calmness I try to control, Understand my pride and inferiority, Understand my strong desire to share and fear of being seen through, Understand my extreme sensibility and indifference, Understand the contradictions and brokenness deep in my soul that can never be reconciled or repaired... He knows everything about me! Just because he is me, Therefore, he is better than anyone else, They all care about me more. My soul will be forever Sick and crazy, contradictory and broken. My salvation will never be available, My love will never come, I will eventually drown in my desires and desires but not get them. We are a unique piece of soul music. No words can accurately describe that uniqueness. Our emotions are like love but better than love. We are thinking about it, We will always know each other, We will never meet again. He is me, I am him, We are each other's only one, No one can compare to him, no one can replace him. He is my light and I am his shadow. Light and shadow never separate, but always go together. We will always be together, but we will never see each other. Maybe I'm sick, but I'd rather stay sick.

Such a calm and warm story, like a beautiful dream... It has always been my wish to have someone who fully understands and loves me. Do you also have the time to hug another "me" from a distance?

The real Narcissus with schizophrenia I also have the habit of talking to myself, but it has not reached the level of split personality. I know that the "you", "me" and "she" I say are all myself. I play another self, discuss and quarrel together... This desire to have someone accompany you is very relatable. Speaking of which, I used to have an online name that was also the reverse pronunciation of my own name.

"From now on, my world is no longer just black and white like the ancient TV. He painted this vast world for me - the dye is his gentle eyes. I want to appreciate this picture carefully so that I can tell it to him. From then on, when I looked at all the shadows in the world, they were all different from him, but none of them were him. "

I read it for the first time when I was in high school. It was very shocking. It was the first time I cried because of the novel. At that time, I just felt sad and wondered why falling in love did not have the best ending. Reading it now, I just feel that the whole article is full of vitality and it saves myself in such a great way. I still cry now, but not for the same reason. I've grown up. She left with a certain part of me. I am no longer me.

Falling in love with yourself is such a happy and sad love. (Although this article is very short, it also brought tears to my eyes) (After reading this, I hope I can love myself a little more. Self-loathing feels like a commonplace in modern society,,,)

It has a, how should I say, screws and nuts feel. Hug each other and fit in with each other, and finally merge into one [cheek support] Ordinary but also mixed with a trace of regret

It feels very... Immersive (? The child used to be stressed and imagined that his big friends would take care of him. It's almost touching.

Are you particularly touched? This is Narcissus Ami Ami. The moment I fell in love with you, I knew that leaving you is the real love??

My lover is also my psychiatrist