Mu Bei had never given much thought to the question of love. She only knew that if this went on, she would be trapped and suffocated by too much exhausting love. She wasn't someone who only accepted love without giving anything in return. But she had nothing to give; all she could do was keep accepting. The more she wanted to love, the less she dared to. People were all cowards.
What about Cheng Chi? He hadn't given it much thought either. He had always known what he wanted. Cheng Yuan had told him she had a hard life. How could he not know? She missed her mother but couldn't say so. She had tried to steal a little warmth through Su Qi, only to bring him grief. Had that practically destroyed his family? Her only source of support, her grandfather, was tormented by illness. She felt so sorry for him and had secretly cried countless times, but never in front of anyone. When she got pregnant, she was overjoyed. She believed in past lives and reincarnation. She thought her grandfather was the child's past life, and her child would be her grandfather's next life. She knew this obsession was so absurd it was almost unbelievable, but she believed it all the same.
But then it was gone. Like a dewdrop dancing lightly on a leaf in the morning sunlight, it was there one moment and evaporated the next. As though it had never existed. She couldn't bear it.
She had a hard life. But she kept it all bottled up until she made herself sick. Did he have it easy? He wanted to help, but couldn't. Watching her hurt was unbearable. He felt even more stifled.
But he hadn't decided to let go yet. She had a hard life, but was he really willing to give up? Why should she be the one to ask for a divorce? Fine, she wanted to stand on her own and find herself again. He would let go and give her freedom. But he would only let her thoughts be free, because she had truly been repressed for far too long, to the point that it had made her ill.
Just her thoughts, not her heart.
