When I first started high school, my mom once had a heart-to-heart with me. The old lady rambled on for ages, but the gist of it could be summed up in eight words: "Treasure your life, stay away from puppy love." In her words, "Child, a little patience now will help you accomplish great things. Just hang in there, and once you're in college, there'll be all kinds of great guys for you to sleep with... I mean, choose!"
Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned. I met Gao Weiyi, and everything went haywire. In the end, I still let my mom down. And now, just as I'm about to write down my tearful history as a cautionary tale for you all, this guy casually snatches the apple I've taken one bite out of and calmly keeps eating, following the marks of my teeth. Then he says, completely unruffled, "You humanities students make everything so complicated. If you ask me, our story can be summed up in one sentence: 'Every radish has its own hole. I don't screw over my dad, I only screw you.'"
I scoff. This guy's showing off again! But I have to admit, Gao Weiyi really is a fine radish. At least, if you tried to trade me a cabbage for him, I wouldn't do it! What did you say? A jade cabbage? Well... then we'd sell the cabbage, split the money right there, and use one tenth of it to buy my radish back!
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