I am Asami, and you are Nemu. This is our bond, and our ending.
He still wore that strange mask and an experimental coat that seemed shabbier every year. The morning wind was brisk. Against the light, I saw the haori embroidered with the characters for “Twelve” fluttering wildly. His golden eyes were utterly indifferent. For a moment, it was as if I had returned to the Maggot's Nest two hundred years ago, where a handsome young man with flowing blue hair stood in the dim light from the only window, his expression stubborn and haughty. “Oh? You're Asami? I'm Nemu.”
Watching him walk away, I suddenly realized that, beneath the morning sun, his retreating figure was breathtakingly beautiful.
Hmm. . A bit broken. . .
Puff. . Ascend to heaven. . . . .
This chapter is well written, but I still say that in the end you could actually write it better... Be careful to make it clear when editing, after all, Yun Juyan is not a major character in The Tale of Genji.
The requirement for writing about abuse is to abuse the body and mind... Xiaoji, you have a long way to go, and if you handle it well, you could have done a good job.
Hehe, the beginning of this chapter is well written... JQ, JQ! "Kidō Chan" is well written, but... The plot jumps too much. It took me a year to write it, but you just skipped two sentences. It's not appropriate.
This chapter could use some revision. It would be a pity to skip such a plot like this.
... It's just that Hiyori didn't come out. You'll go crazy when you see Nirvana's new look.
Alas, I didn't give you a score. In order to prevent you from missing me, just make it up~
Ahhh, I feel threatened, it's really unpleasant... But I will ignore the faults of the villain, and I will post a long review that I promised you long ago... That's right, other readers, I am the legendary group of relatives and friends... As for the manuscript, if I really want to talk about it, I watched Xiaoji write it word by word. From the beginning of "Ah, this is really a bad article" to the current "I can barely read it", actually this is not my fault. Xiaoji, you still have a long way to go... To be fair, this is actually a very warm story, written about "childhood sweethearts" "Ma's Light Blue First Love", but I always feel that there are not that many emotional scenes (I told you this when you first started writing, but you just refused to change it. Oh my, I forgot that you are a tragic heroine who has to spend Valentine's Day alone) After many revisions, the initial entry point turned out to be pretty good, at least better than the original draft you made during the summer vacation. It would be really stupid if I started with Hitomi Ishida. But Xiaoji, your warm writing style did not continue. After reading it, I felt a little confused. Sure enough, you can't do it without me~ If we really want to say this article, the characters are quite out of shape, especially Nida, who actually didn't grasp it very well. Although you always say that people will show different aspects in front of different people, but I have passed it here. It doesn't mean that he can't be gentle and meticulous, but it means that it must be in line with his personal character. What do you think? In fact, what I most want to see is the interaction between Asami and Urahara. When I first read your writing, I always thought it was Urahara Bun. Then I was really shocked when I found out it was Niuda. Nirvana's image in the main Bleach movie is not very good, especially since he has changed his image recently and is becoming more and more invisible to people. If you really want to say that, you are not a Shinigami fan... You are obviously affected by [Wind Sand]. Don't rush to deny it, what I said is right, right? But this is not the main problem. The real question is, Your main plot is too perfunctory. Why do you say that? In fact, your battle process and the main plot are basically completely skipped. In fact, it shouldn't be like this. In your first draft, it was so exciting when you wrote the final battle with Aizen, why did you delete it? You tried to strengthen the emotional line, but it didn't actually strengthen it. Instead, the plot seemed pale, which is very unlike your style. You say it's because you feel that the technical personnel of Division 12 should not be too involved in the battle. Although there is some truth to it. But it would be unreasonable for you to skip Zanpakutō Mysterious Chronicles. After all, there is still a certain amount of scenes in the twelfth chapter. In particular, you have been struggling with the Soul Society invasion chapter recently. Don't worry, just post it online. Believe me, your plot is definitely better than the emotional drama. You left Haiyan behind because of your personal desires. But in fact, it had nothing to do with him... And the Quincy's foreshadowing was too big, and the final handling was not very good. Need to improve. If I really want to say that the best thing you wrote is the paragraph you put in the copy and the Ajin side story... It is quite heartwarming. But what's going on with Tsukuru now? Did you have this setting at the beginning? Or is this actually the male protagonist? Oh, teachers, students, taboos, taboos and the like are the right principles! Finally, you should continue writing seriously. I told you not to update every day. Now the article is discontinued, right? Hehe, finish writing it as soon as possible and send it to Xiubing Boy as soon as possible~ I think that article is more promising than this one. But I still say it, it needs to be overhauled! If you practice it carefully, you will be able to read the notes~
It's a bit messy... Pay attention to the segmentation, it looks very tiring.