Life and death are already fated. Who can defy heaven?
If joys and sorrows, partings and reunions add color to life, why cast them aside?
The passing years leave their marks; happiness, too, is ordinary.
…------Can you let go?
…------This is a question that takes a lifetime to answer.
… (Some people say:
…------I've come to terms with it!
…------I can't let go!
… (Is this just wishful thinking, or something else?)
…------I've learned to accept it a little more.
… (I believe that.)
(If you want to get straight to the story, you can start from Chapter 3. The pace is fairly slow. It's a simple, understated story, so you'll need some patience to get to the later chapters. This isn't a purely danmei story, just a dreamy, beautiful one. I chose the wrong genre before, so I'd like to apologize to everyone~)
This is Pippi's first review. It's not a good review, so please forgive me. This article was selected for two reasons: First, Pippi had the honor to comment on the first chapter of this article, and I was curious whether the author adopted my opinion. Second, this article has the longest number of words and the coldest data among all the articles submitted to me. Of course, cold data does not necessarily mean that the article is bad, but there must be a reason for the cold text. Overall feeling This is a new article written by a newcomer. Pippi feels that the author is a thoughtful girl who is trying to build an imaginary and ethereal world. Everyone often has passionate passion and profound love for their first novel, and has the mentality of standing high and peeing far. Pippi is like this, and so is the author's sister. Using people as a metaphor, I feel that the outline of the novel is like the human skeleton, the plot is like the flesh and blood, the writing style is like the skin, and the idea is like the human soul. The same outline and similar plot, but different writing styles and writing methods, may have very different effects. The outline is well-conceived, the plot is innovative, and the writing is fluent, but if the main idea of the article is not correct, it will not be a good work. Therefore, flesh, bone, skin, spirit, all four are indispensable. This article about this girl is like a thoughtful person. We can vaguely see that her eyebrows are beautiful, but her facial features are hazy and scattered, and her flesh and bones cannot be touched. You can imagine if there was a person walking on the street who was not very connected in terms of bones, flesh and bones, with beautiful facial features scattered on a cracked skin. It must be very scary, not to mention beautiful. Bone and blood Pippi always feels confused when reading this article and can't find the key point. The writing is too vague, which is the first reason why the context is unclear. The plot of the story is diluted by the author's deliberately exaggerated atmosphere. At the beginning, the author spent a lot of effort on describing the environment and understanding of life. These descriptions, these short paragraphs full of the author's insights, are all good when viewed separately, but when combined into large paragraphs, the effect is counterproductive. The second reason is that the characters are complex, the appearances are confusing, and the plot is jumpy. The first chapter contains long descriptions of mountain scenery, pavilions, and courtyards, mixed with short and long poems. In the ethereal fairyland on earth lived an ethereal man and woman, and they had ethereal conversations, so Pippi also became ethereal. Six characters appear in the first two chapters, and the relationships between the characters are tangled. The plot is about the male partner recovering from his injuries and preparing to return to Kyoto. The side of the article explains that the background of the character is about national security, killer status and so on. Pippi finally saw a thread, but unfortunately it turned away in the next chapter. The male and female protagonists finally appeared, and a new female supporting character also appeared. The plot begins to turn into a PK between the heroine, the heroine, and her father. Seeing this, Pippi was really speechless and choked. Girl, what do you want to say about a magical horse? Pilling Pippi once commented on the first chapter of Sister Girl, and made suggestions regarding layout and character details during dialogues. Sister Girl has adopted them in the previous chapters. Here, I would like to point out that there is still no separation in the layout of Chapters 8 and 9. In addition, starting from Chapters 4 and 5, the girl again has dialogues without psychological description and character state description. "Xxoooo" someone said. "Ooolllxxx" someone said with a smile. "Llloooxx" someone replied. The 500 words of dialogue are omitted below. This kind of dialogue makes your characters look like actors in a hurry. After saying the lines, quickly change scenes. This kind of dialogue appears in many places and in a large area throughout the text. Hands down, I don't know what others think. Anyway, I'm not interested in reading actors' scripts. Curtain call Si Qian Mei Zhi, it takes time and accumulation to achieve a seamless integration of what you think in your heart and what you draw in your pen. We all still have work to do. I saw that my sister has published a new article, I hope there will be progress in the new article, and I will encourage you to do so.
Come on! I'm optimistic about you! It's not easy for newcomers! Support each other! If we have time, we can communicate 285681351
The article has been collected, please give the author a big boost!
Sprinkle flowers ~ come on!
The article has been accepted, thank you very much, but then again, I am accepting it for romance fans.
I have a great imagination but my grammar is a bit pretentious
JJ seems to have stopped smoking. Supplementary comments. The article has been received. Big cheers to the author.
There are too many descriptions about architecture, so I've collected them and please try your best in the future~
I never throw bricks, I disappoint you~ Come on! Three comments here~
It's very suitable for quiet times, so you can calm down and watch slowly.