[Plot Version]
Yan Bei, who was as bent as a mosquito coil, met Su Wei in her first year of college. Su Wei seemed as straight as a pine tree, so Yan Bei launched a series of pursuits.
Su Wei liked Yan Bei too, but her past experiences and pressure from society kept her from openly accepting Yan Bei's love.
One loved with all her heart but could never have the other; the other refused with her words but could not truly let go.
Like people drowning, they struggled against the torrents of social convention and human nature, tormenting and hurting each other.
How will they face the final choice?
[Literary Version]
I've loved you for a long, long time, through the greenest years of my life.
I decided not to love you for a long, long time, through every morning, night, and afternoon after I realized I loved you.
[Reading Notes]
1. This is an old story from 2012. The 2025 bonus chapters are complete, but they're very heartbreaking. If you can't handle that, don't read them.
2. This is a very angsty story: a scummy bottom and a masochistic top. Expect angst, tragedy, melodrama, and realism. It's not a happy story, so readers who need their characters pure should stay away.
3. The plot is only meant to show how people struggle and become entangled in the constraints of society. It doesn't represent the author's beliefs, so don't read too much into the author's worldview.
4. If you like angsty stories, visit my author page. All my stories except Fool's Ordeal are angsty, and all my completed works other than this one are free.
Theme: We should have a life force as tenacious as moss.
Su Wei is definitely the most disgusting heroine I have ever seen. I thought Yu Qinghan was disgusting enough, but I didn't expect Su Wei to be even more disgusting than Yu Qinghan. Every move she made in the article made me stunned, and every word she said made me stunned. I smacked my tongue. I have never seen such a self-righteous, cowardly, greedy and domineering heroine. I finally saw it today, and in the end, she was able to get fucked. This is something I never expected. Does someone like her deserve love? As a medical student, I would like to give you some knowledge. In the article, Su Wei uses birth control pills for contraception. Although this method can prevent pregnancy, it is not 100% effective. Usually the contraceptive effect is only 85 to 90%, and it is very harmful to health. It can range from nausea, vomiting and abdominal distension to irregular menstruation and withdrawal bleeding. In severe cases, it can even lead to amenorrhea. Generally, women who love themselves will not use birth control pills to prevent pregnancy, and men who love you will not let their women use birth control pills. So it is best to use condoms. As long as the quality is good, they are very effective. I don't know if the author deliberately arranged this, so I saw Su Wei using birth control pills for contraception. I was surprised. No self-loving and responsible woman would use this kind of thing. From this, it can be seen that Luo Lie has no feelings for Su Wei. A man who is really responsible for you will never let you take this thing.
I watched it many years ago, and I just found out about the extras today. I like this article very much. In fact, many people in real life are like Su Wei. They insist on saying they are friends when they clearly like someone, and they insist on marrying men even though they are lesbians. Sometimes I don't understand how I can bear the nausea and go to bed with men, but sometimes I sympathize with them. It is human nature to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. It is really difficult to be a heterosexual and endure the judgment of others.
It feels like the author wrote the ending of he, but this extra chapter shows that it seems to be an open ending at the end. Yan Bei's mental state can no longer bear Su Wei's betrayal, and Su Wei suffers even more because of Yan Bei. It's like two precarious wooden boards tied by love, in the sea called reality, called scars. The scars will heal, but they will not disappear. Yan Bei and Su Wei will live with scars for the rest of their lives. Everything goes against the original intention of love. I really can't imagine how they will live in the future.
The dirt of the poor valley is covered with moss, so Su Wei is a poor person. It is said that moss grows in a dark and humid environment. Darkness is the shadow cast by a hypocritical and violent father, blocking the sky from the sun; moisture is the tears shed by a weak and incompetent mother, and it is difficult to save oneself from the swamp and mire. The poison of the original family and the evil of the social environment are like maggots in the tarsus. It is very difficult to have a peaceful life and inner peace at the end. What's interesting is that those who curse Su Wei viciously in the story are often just listeners and spectators, while the friends who really know the inside story, Zhong Zhou, Zhong Yilu, and Zhou Qi, are left with sighs after all kinds of emotions. The collapse originated not only from the initial stone, but also from the snowflakes contaminated by the many choices in the long river of life. The source is wrong, but no snowflake is innocent. I only hope that if some of us are born as moss, we can have a better ending. Last sentence: Very well written.
I really like old articles from the past, very documentary. Looking back after so many years, I suddenly felt enlightened. When I was a child, I was ignorant and passionate about feelings. No matter what the outcome is now, it is enough that Su Wei loves Yan Bei. Human nature is always selfish. There will be cowards among brave people. This is reality. Emotions are always mixed with gray. This is the love of adults. It can be seen from the beginning to the end that Su Wei loves Yan Bei. Love does not mean that he will not hurt the other person. He loves but dare not be together. This is just pulling, haha.
After reading it, I feel like vomiting 💔
This is indeed not as good as be. Why is he so impersonal? He was tortured by another person and ended up stupid. I have never seen such a miserable protagonist.
It's simply too heavy. I'm curious about what happened after ten years of writing such an ending.
Broken down, eh, poor Xiaobei
In fact, Su is not treated as a machine. He is chosen by himself. If you accept the first step, there will be follow-up.