That Sliding Ray of Sunshine

In the middle of the night, Shi Yan suddenly sensed that something was wrong. He reached over to the other side of the bed. It was cold. He jolted awake.

Lin Haoran's voice came from the balcony. It was very quiet, but Shi Yan could still hear what he was saying.

"Good girl, don't be scared. Mm-hmm, I know. Be a good girl and go to sleep, okay? Otherwise you'll have dark circles tomorrow. Mm-hmm, okay, I know. Go to sleep now, all right? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, okay, I'll be back tomorrow. Be good, okay? Go to sleep. Mm-hmm, I'll be back by morning. Mm-hmm, I'll tell you a story, then you won't have nightmares. Once upon a time..."

Listening to him speak so tenderly to someone else, Shi Yan couldn't stop the tears from falling.

After a long while, Lin Haoran finally came back on tiptoe. He glanced at Shi Yan, lifted the covers, and climbed into bed. Then he gently pulled Shi Yan into his arms. Before long, he was asleep.

Only when Shi Yan was sure he wouldn't wake up did he open his eyes and stare at Lin Haoran in a daze. Tears spilled down his face again. He had never told him a story.

It seemed these past few days had been too peaceful. He'd forgotten that Lin Haoran had someone else...

Hadn't he already told himself not to care? So why wouldn't the tears stop falling? His mind was filled with memories of them together: the park when they were little, Lin Haoran holding him and keeping everyone away; then, when they met again, Lin Haoran turning his head in disgust. His heart had hurt so much then. He was afraid Lin Haoran would ignore him, but luckily, in the end, Lin Haoran came to love him.

Even though Lin Haoran was always so clumsy, making him angry, then foolishly trying to cheer him up...

He had still been abandoned...

Back then, he'd really wondered whether he should go on living without Lin Haoran, whether he could bear the days of Lin Haoran being with someone else.

So when Lin Haoran found another girlfriend, he had truly despaired. He was afraid Lin Haoran would meet a girl who couldn't live without him, and whom he couldn't live without either.

As he looked at the tiny speck in the test tube, tears ran down his face. From now on, at least he would have this child by his side. The two of them would depend on each other. Baby, please don't leave Daddy, okay? Daddy has only you...

Every day, he would crouch outside the sterile lab, watching the baby grow little by little from a tiny sprout. Slowly, his heart came back to life.

Dawn broke, and the pillow was soaked through. He looked at the man beside him, and his heart clenched again. So tall, so handsome. He couldn't help staring, entranced. Forcing himself to look away, he gently lifted the hand resting on his waist, tucked in the covers, and went out.

After breakfast, Shi Yan sat on the sofa watching TV. Lin Haoran sat beside him, wanting to say something but hesitating, his words coming out haltingly.

"Wife."

"Mm."

"Wife."

"Mm!"

"Wife, I was thinking... I want to go home for a while. You..."

"Sure!" Shi Yan still didn't turn to look at him.

"Wow, that's great!" Lin Haoran jumped to his feet. "Then, wife, I'm off. Be good, okay?" He kissed Shi Yan on the cheek and happily walked out.

Shi Yan stared motionlessly at the TV, both hands gripping the remote. Tears slid down his cheeks and disappeared into the sofa. He'd said he was going home. This place wasn't his home.

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