Peach Blossom Curse

This blurb has me pulling out my hair by the handful...

This is a story about a monkey and a peach.

Sappy Literary Version:

Just because that furry hand picked a peach blossom for her,

she fell in love at first sight, across lifetimes.

Just because his painted face had eyes that seemed familiar,

he pursued her relentlessly and refused to let go.

Bossy Older Woman Version:

You lousy monkey! You damn immortal! You took me without a word, then dragged me to this godforsaken place. You and that damn bald monk went off to fetch some scriptures or whatever, and just dumped me here? Hmph! One day, I'll pluck every last hair off you!

Innocent Little Girl Version:

"Elder Brother, Master says women who only know how to cry are useless, and women who never cry are monsters. Am I a monster?" She looked up at her second elder brother with wide eyes.

He patted her head and said, "Our Peach isn't a woman yet."

She gasped and covered her mouth. "Second Elder Brother, do you mean... I'm not a woman?! Could I be a boy?"

He was mortified and muttered, "Well... Peach isn't a boy either..."

Advertisement Version:

Want to see how a monkey and a peach produce the legendary kiwi fruit?

Read Peach Blossom Curse.