[Bleach] Good Morning, Shopkeeper

Ah~~~Why does it feel like it ended without saying anything?

Is this considered bad...?

The store manager is very loving! Sanwu girl is very loving! Naturally, I love you very much, but why does it take so long to warm up to the point where it never gets hot again? Full of beef~

Ah Nuo... The female pig's feet have changed so much, I can't accept it... To be honest, I really don't see any special feelings for Lixi from the store manager...

People thought it was a sweet comment... It was too deceptive to feelings.

So, the author, what is the romance label you have marked?

Forgive Lemon for being so busy, this miserable child is already on the verge of tears, staring at the sky speechless at 45°. Please touch me... When this article was first published, Ben Lemon ran over for a walk at the prompt of someone, and then he was shocked by the name of the heroine. Although the beautiful image of Sadako's children's shoes did not bring bad memories to Lemon, perhaps it was because she was too familiar, so she had some resistance. Now that this article has been completed, all kinds of lemons who ignored the name of the heroine came running again, and started reading this article with as neutral, calm, rational, objective and fair an attitude as possible. This title is very good, it not only highlights the male protagonist, but also has a strong Japanese flavor. As a store manager, Urahara usually sells all kinds of strange things. This "good morning" is like a ray of sunshine that shines into the store in the early morning, lighting up Urahara's store and starting a new day of life. Whether the heroine is a shop assistant or a regular customer who frequents this place, it will give readers a hazy and ambiguous feeling. You must know that today's GNs have a pair of big black eyes that are looking for JQ everywhere. Such a loving title will definitely attract many readers. The text is a bit confusing. As far as Lemon knows, many readers have negative feelings towards articles with multiple covers, and MS's children also don't like authors posting multiple covers. Lemon feels that the cover is an image endorsement of the article and is unique. Maybe it is difficult for the author to choose between the two covers, but from the perspective of the article, one article, one theme, and one cover are enough. Doing too much will make people confused and reduce reading interest. P. S. Personally, I think the one with the image of the store manager is good. It not only has the hazy feeling shrouded in the morning light, but also reflects the laid-back and comfortable characteristics of the store manager. After all, it is the store manager, not the heroine, who attracts readers to read the article. In addition, there are too many pictures on the copywriting, which makes people feel dizzy. The two covers + column strips + promotional strips + new article advertisements are dizzying and make people have the urge not to read them. This is not a picture shop. How can we show off so many pictures? Don't overshadow the guest! ! It is recommended that the author GN re-layout and omit the promotional banner. After all, readers have already entered the article when they see the copy, and there is no need to add a promotional banner. At the same time, there is no need to use pictures for new article advertisements. Simply use text to introduce it, or use the "Author Recommendation" function to add the address of the new article and just create a button. There are so many pictures, I'm really dizzy! After reviewing the copywriting and title, let's talk about the most important opening. ... The first chapter is less than 300 words, and Lemon is all kinds of sad. According to the standard of 3,000 words per chapter, how much can be written in 1,000 words in the first three chapters? It can not only write a small climax, but also write a relatively complete short story, or fully develop the plot and lay down foreshadowing. However, the author GN was very generous and cut off 3,000+ words of content. Lemon couldn't help but feel a little sorry for Fushua. The reason why the opening chapter is important is not only to open the plot, but more importantly, to leave the reader. In the vast sea of ​​online articles, readers choose an article mainly to see whether the content of the first three chapters is exciting and whether it suits their taste. Therefore, the 3,000 words missing in the first chapter may not be made up for by the 3,000 words in the following chapters. After reading the first three chapters, Lemon felt that maybe it was because of the relatively small number of words. The plot was not revealed and very little was revealed. It felt like it was just leaving a crack in the door for the readers. Since the copywriting has stated that the article does not follow a plot line, and therefore does not have the ups and downs of the original work as a strong backing, the original plot constructed by the author becomes even more important. However, it is a pity that the author did not grasp this point well and did not arrange the main contradiction or important foreshadowing in the original plot at the beginning. Therefore, after reading the first three chapters, readers feel that their expectations for the following chapters are not as strong as expected, and they may silently point their fingers. In fact, the copywriting said that it would take a non-plot-oriented, easy route, which made it a bit difficult for the plot-loving Lemon. After all, it would be a bit blind to criticize something that I am not good at. Well~ try to come~~ Maybe it's because I've never been exposed to this kind of non-plot novels, so I always feel that the substantive content of each chapter is a bit lacking. For example, the chapter "Tama-sama" is nothing more than a description of the process of the oral-love Tamsama going to Urahara store to be fucked. This process took 2,000 words, but it has little connection with the main plot. If this plot is only part of a chapter, it may be easier to accept, but if it takes up an entire chapter, it will inevitably make readers confused about the point, wondering what the author wants to write. In addition, in the previous main plot, the store manager's role is somewhat limited. (Ou Su read the first four chapters and skipped to the second volume according to the instructions in the text.) At the beginning of the second volume, Lemon felt that Renji was stealing the show. If he hadn't first made it clear that the store manager was the male protagonist, Lemon Zundi would have mistakenly said that Renji was the male protagonist and the store manager was the male supporting character. By the way, it is worth mentioning that regarding the character of the store manager, the author seems to place great emphasis on his language and experimental behavior. However, as we all know, the image of the store manager is deeply rooted in the hearts of the people, and it is not these two aspects that make countless GN competitors bow, and especially in terms of experimental behavior, the store manager Sama is not very unique, and this MS is the patent of Captain Nirvana. At the same time, the store manager is a combination of frivolity and profundity. It is difficult to visualize such a complex character in a three-dimensional way just by relying on dialogue. Moreover, in this article, the store manager's language is not very close to the characteristics of the original characters. Lemon is a quick person. The store manager prefers to use frivolous language to talk about serious topics and use solemn sentences to make light-hearted jokes. From this, it can be seen from the full text that in terms of character creation, although the image of the store manager has not collapsed, it only writes the most superficial layer and does not directly reach its spirit and essence. Finally, what I want to talk about is the tone of the whole text. From the previous article, we can know that the story takes a light-hearted route, but as the later chapters slowly unfold, literary and artistic things often appear. Well, it's just like lemon suddenly appearing after various gods disappear. Although this kind of relaxed + literary route is not uncommon, the author did not blend the two well together, and there was an obvious incongruity, or a sense of violation. According to Lemon's analysis, this is probably due to the author's mood changes during writing, or the burst of spiritual pressure, which resulted in the overall tone of the text being inconsistent and the writing style fluctuating, making it feel like he was writing wherever he thought. Maybe it's because the author's writing time is relatively short and his writing style has not yet been fixed, resulting in various fluctuations. Overall, the article is good, but due to the author's weak writing skills, there are still deficiencies in plot setting, character creation, and overall grasp. Of course, these problems can be improved with long-term continuous writing, extensive reading, etc. Regarding the comments made by Lemon, if the author has any objections or thinks there is something inappropriate, please don't point it out carelessly. Let's discuss it together and make progress together. Lure lemon May 16, 2011

Damn~~ This is the end~~ What a cheating thing to say~~ Why doesn't Mao have any JQ~~ What's wrong~~

Author, where are you cheating? ! Is this the end? !

Hmm... What a small side story... Congratulations on the end...