Stop Rubbing Me! I'm Really the Demon King

Advance notice follows this blurb~

[Cool on the outside, warm on the inside, max-power demon king bottom x Double-standard, sharp-tongued, flirtatious Inspector General top]

Lin Zhiyu transmigrated into Feifei, a legendary mythical beast from the Classic of Mountains and Seas.

The good news: He was a demon king.

The bad news: He was wanted the moment he arrived.

While fleeing for his life, he rescued a badly injured man, who turned out to be Inspector Huo, notorious in the Demon Administration Bureau as the "Sharp-Tongued King of Hell"!

Luckily, Lin Zhiyu accidentally awakened a special ability: by touching a dead person's belongings, he could speak with the deceased.

On his livestream, in the voice of an old granny, he said, "Sweetie, Grandma left you some money. You can go to school now."

The next moment, he became an inspector who had died at a crime scene, and said gravely, "Boss, I saw the killer's face."

His livestream went viral, and his DMs exploded.

Countless fans begged him to pass messages to the dead. The Demon Administration Bureau offered him a generous official post and begged him to help solve cases.

Even the trolls came sniffing around, spreading rumors that he was hiring actors and had ulterior motives.

Before Lin Zhiyu could respond, though, the livestream's number-one donor, who showered him with outrageously expensive gifts every day, made the first move.

Anyone who insulted Lin Zhiyu got their account banned within three seconds.

If someone else donated less, he would immediately make up the difference with the highest-tier gift, keeping the total even.

His fans went wild, all speculating about who the number-one donor really was.

Then the man himself walked up beside Lin Zhiyu and said calmly to the camera, "No need to guess. It's me."

"Huo Shi'an."

The chat went dead silent for three seconds, then exploded.

-- Is this really the Demon Administration Bureau's Inspector General, the one who interrogates demons until they're crying for their mothers and driven out of their minds???

-- Inspector Lin really knows how to work his magic!

-- Oh my god, we actually shipped a real couple!

At first, Huo Shi'an thought he'd tricked a delicate little cat demon, far too pretty for its own good, into coming home with him.

Then one day, he saw with his own eyes the soft, fluffy "little white cat" in his arms punch a famous great demon straight into the ground.

The cat turned back with a scornful look. "Inspector Huo, still want to pet me now?"

[Reading Guide]

1. Fake transmigration, not amnesia. Younger top, sweet romance, happy ending.

2. Urban fantasy battles and cases, with livestreaming as a supporting element.

[Preview Scene]

With Inspector Lin's charm off the charts, his admirers were multiplying by the day.

Huo Shi'an kept watch over the livestream day and night, guarding against all comers.

One day, he noticed the fans were arguing fiercely over whether the top should be older or younger.

That night, he arrived home and eagerly handed over his phone.

Lin Zhiyu said expressionlessly, "I'm a demon king."

Huo Shi'an suggested, "Then how about a fight?"

Lin Zhiyu: "Sure."

Ten minutes later, Huo Shi'an smiled like a demon. "Baby, you hit your husband so hard. What a cruel heart you have."

Lin Zhiyu was pinned to the sofa.

Blushing with embarrassment, he turned his head away, his ears scarlet. "...Shut up."

That night, Huo Shi'an posted a new update from Lin Zhiyu's account.

Picture: A teary-eyed little white cat.

Caption: Mine.

[Coming Soon]

Play the pig to eat the tiger, flirts then gets cold feet, human heart-coach bottom x Ailing-obsessed, abstinent iceberg, double-standard wolf in sheep's clothing spirit top

Xiao Xun, a master artifact smith, woke from a deep sleep

and found that three thousand years had passed, and the world had changed beyond recognition.

So what if he'd once been the human race's leader, with the final say in everything?

So what if his name had gone down in history? The spirit cultivation academy he'd founded had been completely revamped into a modern vocational college for cultivation!

But starting from scratch had its perks. He could slack off, keep a low profile, and stay alive. He'd act like a useless student, play dumb, and rank at the bottom of the lower grades.

Behind the scenes, he'd mass-produce secret identities, join the Artifact Smiths' Association, play the pig to eat the tiger, and crush his competition.

But what was up with that spirit in the academy, so frail and sickly that a breeze could make him sway like a willow?

Teacher Chu gave him a box of red bean cakes one day, secretly slipped him some spirit stones the next, enthusiastically helped him apply for a student loan, and even kept him after class for private tutoring.

Hah, he thought that would fool him?

What was his sworn enemy playing at? In their past life, he'd chased Xiao Xun for eight whole streets, trying to kill him. Now he was practically begging to shower him with money. Had he lost his mind?

And whenever danger struck, he always risked his life to protect him.

Like right now, when they were in danger in a secret realm. At the critical moment, Teacher Chu, who had been coughing blood into a handkerchief, flipped a high-level demon beast over with his bare hands to protect Xiao Xun, right in front of everyone.

Their eyes met. The air froze.

Xiao Xun stared at the familiar fighting technique, etched into his bones, and sneered as he raised a hand. The thousand-year-old divine artifact behind him exploded on cue.

"Fei Han, what's the point of pretending to be sick?"

With his secret identity exposed, his sworn enemy dropped the act too.

Teacher Chu calmly wiped the blood from his fingertips. "A-Xun, your acting is truly terrible."

Xiao Xun said each word distinctly. "You killed me in our last life. Are you trying to make me useless in this one?"

Teacher Chu: "? Is that what you think?"

At the height of their standoff, a cute little girl appeared from nowhere and threw herself into his arms, chirping, "Mom!"

Then she pointed at the other man. "Dad!"

Xiao Xun said expressionlessly, "He and I have nothing to do with each other. Besides, I'm an innocent young man."

Teacher Chu coolly replied, "You're not."

Everyone behind them erupted in an uproar.

By the following morning, the whole continent was abuzz.

Messages on jade communication slips were everywhere:

#Fellow cultivators, caught up on the gossip?

#That famously useless pretty boy at our academy has turned into the Sovereign's consort, and might actually be the former Alliance Leader's secret identity!!!

#I heard, babe. Both my ears heard it.

The two sworn enemies in the history books sent each other battle challenges that were actually love letters, ahhhhh!

[Reading Guide]

1. Past-life enemies, both playing each other with secret identities in this life. One-on-one, happy ending.

2. Original setting: pseudo-mpreg. Once a cultivator reaches a certain level, intermingling spiritual energy can produce offspring.

3. Ensemble cast. The supporting characters serve the plot and don't take time away from the main couple.

[Bonus Scene]

It was night, and bright moonlight poured down like water.

In the apartment, Xiao Xun rested his chin in his hand, leaning over the table as he watched Fei Han work through documents. Suddenly, he leaned closer, his nose almost brushing Fei Han's jaw.

Fei Han's pen stopped. "..."

Xiao Xun deliberately blew a breath at him. "Teacher Chu, you're old enough to be getting flustered? Why are your ears so red?"

Fei Han replied without expression, "Come any closer and you won't be sleeping."

Xiao Xun panicked. "I have class tomorrow!"

Fei Han pulled him into his arms. "Too late."

Don't worry, it's still early. This time...

"...I won't call on you in class."

Theme: Hear the echoes in the belongings of the dead, and deliver the words they left unsaid. Bridge the divide between two races and spend this life side by side.