The year Xu Chu left without saying goodbye, Lin Siyan learned for the first time how cruel betrayal could be.
The pain stayed with her for life, making her renounce love and swear never to touch its poison again, until she met Pei Ziming.
*
At first, they were completely incompatible.
He was cunning and scheming, carefree and debauched, with no limits to what he would do.
She was clear-headed and rational, reserved and restrained, always true to herself.
But like the North and South Poles, they seemed impossible to reconcile. Once they met, the attraction was fatal.
He gave up millions in shares for her, moved to the city he hated most, and stopped at nothing to drive the man from her heart away.
Even after being rejected, he remained confident. "I've never been anyone's backup before, but that doesn't mean I'll lose."
She thought she saw through all his faults and avoided him, yet fell for him again and again, losing herself and walking into marriage without a second thought, until they divorced.
*
Years later, Pei Muyan asks her, "Mom, was Dad a bad person?"
Lin Siyan thinks for a long time before answering, "When we were young, we were all obsessed with good and evil. But people are complicated. There are no good or bad people, only people with different positions."
"So you got divorced because you didn't love each other?"
"No. We both loved each other more than we loved ourselves. We just weren't suited for marriage."
"But those things don't contradict each other, do they?"
"My dear Yanyan, one day you'll understand. Love depends on the moment your heart is moved, but marriage depends on the moments that make you feel suffocated. I hope you never understand that, though."
Pei Muyan sighs. "So, do you regret it?"
She smiles and shakes her head, her gaze unwavering. "Never."
"Why?"
"Because if I hadn't crossed that river, I could never have become myself."
Theme: You will always be able to save yourself
