The King and the Beggar

● Tsundere, sharp-tongued beauty bottom × seemingly sweet but secretly cunning, devoted husband top [The whole thing is written in advance, but I accidentally set the wrong time and scheduled it for publication. If you're interested, feel free to bookmark it and let chapters pile up. I'll come right back to continue this one as soon as I finish writing that historical danmei about the prince!!!] Shi Qu is a half-hearted materialist. His life is always twisting and turning on the scales between science and the supernatural. He was born with a serious face and a vicious tongue. From childhood to adulthood, he had enough people he'd roasted to fill the line from his building all the way to France. The world had been holding a grudge against him for years. Sometimes even a dog that looked too ugly would get a few cutting remarks as he walked by. And yet, right after graduation, he landed a cushy job as a specially appointed hypnotist and exorcist for the provincial bureau. But Heaven sees all: people with sharp tongues get their comeuppance first. On his first assignment, he came back empty-handed. Before he could even finish interrogating a suspect, he nodded off. When he woke up feeling refreshed, the hospital had already booked him a sleeper berth on the train to the underworld. [All known infections, poisoning, hereditary diseases, autoimmune diseases, malignant tumors, and known physical injuries have been ruled out.] [Preliminary diagnosis: Acute idiopathic systemic failure syndrome.] In plain English: You're not sick. Your friend just says the world is so big and wants to take you out to see it. Your friend's name is Neutrino. Shi Qu: “...” Heh. Inviting him to star in a buddy movie without even paying him. What a heartless client. * Just as his inner monologue came to an end, suddenly, ding-a-ling Congratulations! You have successfully activated the Yin-Yang System ProMax! Good evening, Host! Your “filthy thing” is ready! Sorry, sorry! I misspoke! Your “payment” has arrived! Shi Qu: “?” The next second, the “filthy thing” made a dazzling entrance with enough light effects to cause visual pollution. The man had silver hair in a wolf cut, legs that went on for miles, and a height of 190 centimeters. His features were devastatingly handsome, and his gaze was seductive. “Let's make a deal. You and I will cosplay as a married couple and complete System missions. I'll accumulate good karma to get a body, and you'll accumulate yang energy to be reborn. We both win.” Shi Qu's face remained blank. After a few seconds of silence, he struck back: “Do seductive ghosts really have to dress up their demands like this nowadays? Have you even forgotten what year you died? The grass on your grave is about to become the Ili grasslands, and you're still not reincarnated, wasting your ghostly life here.” Jingshen: “...” Tsk, what a sharp tongue. I like it. The man laughed instead of getting angry and produced a contract. “Not only can you live, but once you complete all the missions, you'll get to see the family member who loves you most: your grandma.” Shi Qu: “A tearful family reunion across four generations in the underworld?” If our ancestor saw me die willingly after a ghost tricked me out of my lifespan, she'd kick my ass first, then carve the eternal posthumous title “World's Biggest Idiot” on my tombstone. But then he thought: whether sooner or later, death comes for everyone. The world is full of strange and wonderful things. Since I'm already here, I might as well give it a try. * Shi Qu signed the contract without hesitation. And so the two of them shared a home, three meals a day, and the changing seasons. Their pretend life was wonderfully lively, and Jingshen got nosebleeds from being scolded by him every day. But no one knew that Jingshen was actually a dream-weaver ranked S1 in the Realm of the Impermanent. For Shi Qu, he had walked alone into the ghostly path, abandoned the Bridge of Reincarnation, and used yang to create yin. When Shi Qu cursed him, he was happy, saying his wife's mouth was so good with words. When Shi Qu hit him, he was delighted, asking if his wife's hand hurt. When Shi Qu said he wanted a divorce, Jingshen went completely mad and pressed close to him. “I told you, I'll build you a mirage that lasts forever.” “There'll be only you and me. No one will ever take you away from my side again.” Looking at the handsome man on the verge of tears, Shi Qu chuckled and patted his face. “Mr. Jing, a quick question: how did you manage to give a performance so bad it didn't deserve a Golden Broom Award, while also having an emotional intelligence so low it put a ceiling on your IQ?” Jingshen didn't understand. His eyes reddened as he asked what Shi Qu meant. Shi Qu said, “After all these years, you're still as stupid as ever. Did you think that holding a defective artifact that reverses yin and yang would bring us back to the way we were?” As Jingshen stared at him in stunned silence, Shi Qu rose gracefully, hooked a finger around his tie and gave it a gentle tug, then planted a smiling kiss at the corner of his lips. Darling, you've fallen for the ghost's trick again. But that's all right. This time, I'm by your side. ● A few notes 1. Both are each other's first and only, one-on-one romance, with a past-life-and-present-life setup. 2. The plot is a series of self-contained cases. Any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental. 3. All nightmares are manifestations of the mind, mere bubbles and illusions, nothing to fear. Theme: Go against the current.