The Potted Plant I Bought Online Turned Out to Be My Son

[Tsundere, easily riled, high-powered bottom] x [Gentle, domesticated, scheming green-tea top]

Three years ago, Yu Fang graduated from the Spirit Master Academy and landed an offer from the Special Operations Team of the Anomaly Management Bureau straight out of school. He became a clear-eyed, foolish wage slave. That night, after the welcome banquet, a drunk Yu Fang found a little flower spirit in a dark alley. The flower spirit was in a sorry state, with broken branches and leaves, and had been bullied by a few human hooligans. His eyes were red with hurt.

Yu Fang's urge to protect plants blazed up. He took the little flower spirit home, helped him heal, and vaguely realized he was falling in love.

It happened to be the little flower spirit's budding season. With tears in his eyes, he asked Yu Fang for help, and Yu Fang readily agreed.

Then he got slept with.

Yu Fang: ???

Wait, is this right?

Wasn't he supposed to be the one on top?

Being slept with was one thing, but then the guy ran off!

Yu Fang: Damn! I've met a scumbag!

After reflecting bitterly on his mistake, Yu Fang swore off love and devoted himself to his career. In just three years, he successfully became captain of the Special Operations Team, earning a reputation as the living King of Hell feared by the demons and monsters of City A.

One day, while surfing the web, Yu Fang casually bought a pretty little potted plant. It arrived the next day in gorgeous, elegant packaging.

Yu Fang excitedly untied the silk ribbon wrapped around the gift box, layer by layer, and opened the lid. A beautifully dressed little child reached out pudgy hands to him. "Pick me up."

Wrong. He'd ordered a potted plant, not a child.

Helpless, Yu Fang carried the little one back to the original address. The moment he opened the door and took a good look, Yu Fang exclaimed: Hey! The scumbag!

Yu Fang clenched his fists. Yu Fang reached for his weapon. Yu Fang was about to get his revenge...

The scumbag rubbed the little one in his arms, pointed at Yu Fang, and said gently, "Call him Daddy."

Yu Fang: "...Whose kid?"

The scumbag: "Ours."

Yu Fang: "...How did that happen?"

The scumbag: "...You gave birth to him."

Yu Fang: "..."

This makes no sense! What nonsense! What kind of behavior is this? Does anyone understand? I've been scammed by a scumbag!

From that day on, Yu Fang was completely hounded by the scumbag and his little one.

The little one tugged on Yu Fang's clothes, eyes brimming with tears. "Daddy, is it because you have another flower that you don't want me?"

Yu Fang: "..."

The scumbag, meanwhile, transformed into Yu Fang's coworker, moved into his office, and began bringing him three home-cooked meals a day.

A person shouldn't turn down good food. At least, they shouldn't...

Yu Fang expressionlessly gnawed on a rib while watching the scumbag cradle a finger blistered by a cooking flame, gazing at him with restrained grief.

Yu Fang: "May I ask what species of plant you are?"

The scumbag: "A man-eating flower."

Yu Fang nodded coldly. "Wow, I thought you were a green tea."

*

Yin Shu was a man-eating flower who had lived for a thousand or so years. By chance, he fell into hard times in the human world and was cornered by a few clueless human hooligans.

Stupid humans. The wicked man-eating flower was going to teach them a lesson.

He extended a vine, quietly pressed it against the back of a human's neck, and prepared to seize the chance to bite off a chunk of flesh.

In the next moment, one of the human hooligans went flying in an arc, and his vine was snapped off.

Yin Shu clutched his broken branches and leaves, crying in pain. When he looked up, he saw a handsome young man standing before him as if summoned from the heavens, with the light of righteousness shining behind him.

Yin Shu: "I..."

...was going to have them for a late-night snack.

The young man grasped his hand. "I'm Yu Fang, an intern at the Anomaly Management Bureau. Don't be afraid. Protecting weak demons and monsters like you is my responsibility."

Yin Shu: "..."

The mighty thousand-year-old demon was taken home by a clear-eyed, foolish human intern.

This young man named Yu Fang not only raised him like a flower, but also recklessly flirted with him during his budding season.

Yin Shu could take no more. His vines wrapped around Yu Fang's waist...

Theme: Old feelings bloom anew, and the heart remains as it always was.