The Sword-and-Cat Knight and the Slime Judge

Quanquan is a person.

Without any qualifications, Quanquan had to scrape by in the working world to support himself, gradually shedding his awkwardness until he became an old hand who could slip out of any tight spot.

Then, on his way to a construction job, a fox smacked him on the head. In the tone of someone trying to recruit a magical girl, the fox introduced Quanquan to a new job: defeat the villains who are tampering with history and become the savior who protects it!

Quanquan plucked the fox off his head. "If you want to save the world, find a high schooler. Don't make things difficult for working adults."

"Wait!!" The fox, whom Quanquan had nicknamed QB, clung to his hair and shouted one last time: "Food, lodging, and a salary included!!"

"When do I start?"

Yes. After years of hard knocks in the working world, Quanquan had learned to be this adaptable.

QB the fox called himself Konnosuke. He took Quanquan through time in a vending machine to the year 2205 and explained that the first step in saving the world was to summon his subordinates. Then he laid out five swords for Quanquan to choose from. With years of work experience behind him, Quanquan cautiously followed the instructions in the Saniwa onboarding guide and chose a sword. He carefully placed his hand on the hilt and channeled his spiritual power, hoping for the black-haired, red-eyed young man in the picture. But after a shower of cherry blossoms...

"I am Kashu Kiyomitsu, child of the river... Meow meow meow??"

Quanquan stared in shock at the red-eyed black kitten on the ground, a miniature sword strapped to its back. He compared it to the picture in his guide, then looked at Konnosuke. "...Picture for reference only??"

Konnosuke's jaw dropped. The sword cat warrior, Kashu Meowmitsu, was so shocked he could only meow incoherently. Neither of them noticed the Saniwa's eyes growing brighter and brighter, until...

Quanquan smacked his fist into his palm. "You should've told me sooner that species didn't matter!!" In the end, as the sword and fox stared in shock until they fainted, the six-foot-tall man Quanquan gradually melted into... a lump of mud??

Ah, he forgot to introduce himself.

Quanquan, 225 years old, species: a slime, apparently.

Konnosuke felt like the sky had fallen.

Dazed, he was bounced around by the new Saniwa he'd picked up, whose body was springy and smooth. He watched his coworker, now a kitten, start kneading the Saniwa's body because of its new shape. He listened to the Saniwa, now a huge pool of crystal-clear jelly, complain that the world was so unreasonable to demand a diploma from a slime...

After its brain short-circuited, it screamed, "Ahhh, no, no! Saniwa, I registered you as a human Saniwa!!"

The slime Saniwa shook his jelly body indifferently. "Just change it. I don't want to pretend to be human anymore."

"Only a human identity qualifies for the spiritual-power subsidy from the Time Government!! That's an extra thousand a month!!"

The six-foot-tall man rose majestically from the ground. "Haha, just kidding. I actually am human."

Quanquan's second lesson from years of hard knocks: money matters most. Even a hero slime can be brought down by a single coin.

He was despairing over a world that demanded academic qualifications from slimes.

For the extra thousand a month, Quanquan and the sword cat warriors, sword dog warriors, and sword bird warriors who inexplicably turned into little animals whenever they were under his spiritual power began diligently pretending to be humans.

Before the new Saniwa orientation meeting, Quanquan sternly lifted the sword cat warriors, each carrying a miniature version of their own sword in their mouths, onto the table one by one. Then he earnestly shared his tips on passing as human:

"Don't manifest your true forms in front of people. They're fragile, and they'll scream and faint."

"Don't eat whatever you like. Even chewing on a power pole will get you taken to the hospital."

"Don't play games where you swallow people and spit them back out. It doesn't matter if the person doesn't die."

"When you take things out of your stomach, make sure nobody's watching."

The sword warriors (in little-animal form): We don't understand, but we respect that!

If Saniwa says so, he must have a good reason!

Seeing all the doggies, kitties, and birdies before him looking serious, Quanquan reached into his belly and pulled out a communicator. "All right! Let's go!!"

But Quanquan still got found out.

Quanquan watched sadly as the sword warriors, who had accidentally turned into cats and dogs, were surrounded on the streets of the Honmaru Shopping District. Screams rang out one after another. He sadly clutched his wallet and silently waited for Time Government staff to come and reclaim the extra thousand he'd been paid.

Unexpectedly, before any staff showed up, orders from other people's Honmaru arrived.

"Please, could we rent that kitten who looks so much like my older brother, Higekiri, for a while?" asked a kindhearted Saniwa who hadn't forged Higekiri and wanted an animal stand-in to cheer up his younger brother, Hizamaru.

"Hello, hello! I'd like to rent that elegant Sanmeow cat! I want some of its good luck! I want to forge Sanme, too!" said a superstitious Saniwa who was unlucky at forging.

"Oh! Saniwa from another Honmaru, could I borrow that chubby bird who's just like me?" asked the troublemaking Tsurumaru from someone else's Honmaru.

Looking at the money being waved in front of him, Quanquan took a deep breath and put on the smile reserved for working adults. "Sure, all of you. No rush, line up!"

Sorry, swords! They were offering way too much!!

Extra income was delicious, but he couldn't give up the subsidy. Quanquan and his swords kept diligently pretending to be normal people and blades. Whenever someone called on them, they changed into their true forms and pretended to be little animal substitutes the Saniwa had raised out of his love for his swords, going out to earn extra money on his behalf.

And so, strange rumors gradually spread through the Time Government's Saniwa forum.

They said there was a mysterious Saniwa who was obsessed with every one of his swords. Every time he acquired a sword, he raised a little animal that looked just like it. He generously lent his sword cat warriors to other Saniwa for very little money.

Countless Saniwa and swords worked through their emotional knots thanks to those heartwarming sword cat warriors, sword dog warriors, and more, then got back to supporting the Time Government with renewed energy... He was practically a saint among the greats!!

Quanquan, trying to play a game with the swords in his Honmaru where he swallowed them and spat them back out: Achoo!!

Theme: Healing others is also a way of healing yourself.