Back to When My Wife Was Young

I met my wife when I was four. He always had a sour look on his face, and a sharp tongue to match.

We went to the same school and were in the same class in elementary, middle, and high school. He couldn't stand how flirtatious I was, and I couldn't stand how he always kept to himself. And somehow, despite disliking each other so much, we...

Got together at eighteen.

Buddy, I know it sounds a little ridiculous, but it's what happened.

We didn't go to the same university, but we were in the same city. I don't know why we ended up in bed together on the very day we came of age, but after that night I discovered that my wife was surprisingly good in bed.

He thought so too, of course. I mean, I'm handsome and have great stamina. Everyone loves me.

The morning after, we leaned against each other and smoked. We'd gotten through about half a cigarette when he stubbed out both of ours. I was a little confused. After we stared at each other for a long while, I looked at his expressionless face and, on a sudden impulse, pinned him to the bed and kissed him.

After that, there was no stopping us.

...Like I said, my wife's lips are great to kiss, too.

And he even gets shy. When he blushes, he's adorable. He presses his lips together and lets his gaze wander, like a little cat.

I love it.

It's such a lovely memory when I think back on it. Leaning against my desk, I rested my head in my hand and smiled at the falling leaves outside the window. After a long while, I lowered my eyes and closed my diary, my smile gradually fading. As the blood dripped from my wrist onto the pages, I thought:

If only today weren't my thirty-ninth birthday.

If only my wife hadn't died ten years ago.

Both are virgins. Sharp-tongued, dramatic gong x cold-faced, sharp-tongued shou. In truth, they're both adorable little sweethearts.

Here's a diary entry from Yu Zhouxing.

You might not believe this.

Well... I've been reborn.

Reborn to a time when my wife was still alive, back when we were both seventeen.

Oh, right. I don't think I've introduced my wife yet.

Let me do that now.

My wife's name is Shen Zhishen. His birthday is August 29. He's incredibly handsome, but his tongue is so sharp that whenever I kiss him, I worry he might poison me to death.

Haha... All right, I was just kidding.

I met my wife when he was four. My family had just moved in next door to his, and the two families didn't know each other well yet. After my parents finished unpacking, they took me over to say hello.

After that first visit, we became an inescapable part of each other's lives. We went to the same school and were in the same class in elementary, middle, and high school. He couldn't stand how I was always showing off, and I couldn't stand how he always kept to himself.

But maybe we didn't really hate each other as much as it seemed.

Through all four seasons, through cold winters and hot summers, we went to school together for twelve years. No matter how much we bickered, on every school day we'd always wait for each other outside the classroom without a word, then walk home together.

It went on until the day after I turned eighteen, the night he turned eighteen.

We drank, ended up in bed, and slept together.

I woke up first the next morning. The moment I saw that familiar face in my arms, I knew we were in trouble. But when I saw the red marks all over his body, I suddenly found myself thinking back to how it had felt the night before. Shamelessly, I had to admit that my childhood friend, Shen Zhishen, really was good in bed.

Maybe our bodies were a perfect match? I was lost in thought, and before I could think it through, my wife woke up too.

He looked uncomfortable. He frowned and struggled for a long time before barely managing to open his eyes and stare at me in a daze.

His eyes were rimmed with red. As I said before, my wife has a beautiful face. So when I saw him looking so pitiful, in a way he never had before, even though it wasn't intentional...

I shamefully got hard again.

Feeling that frightening heat, my wife, Shen Zhishen, finally came to his senses. He stared at me, eyes wide, for a long time before kicking me off the bed. Then he turned over with a smooth, athletic roll to the other side of the bed and wrapped himself in the blanket, leaving only his panicked eyes visible. His face was bright red.

Was he embarrassed?

I didn't even have time to rub the spot where he'd kicked me. We stared at each other for a long time, and then, somehow, we silently came to an understanding.

I don't know which of us moved closer first. We leaned together and smoked. We'd gotten through about half a cigarette when I couldn't take it anymore. I was just about to turn and say something to him when he turned too, took the cigarette from my mouth, and stubbed it out along with the one in his own. He said nothing, just gazed at me intently.

To be fair, he was pretty thin. But he was beautifully thin. I stared for a while at the bite marks on his neck, and somehow, in the silence, realized something too. I licked my lips without thinking, then, as if compelled by some unseen force, followed my heart's desire, pinned him to the bed, and kissed him. When he didn't resist, I licked his reddened lips and mumbled:

"Shen Zhishen, should we give us a try?"

He didn't say anything, but he didn't refuse either. I took that as a yes, and somehow the two of us ended up dating.

That was how our ill-fated romance began.

Actually, my wife Shen Zhishen is pretty cute. People who don't know him think he's cold as ice and hard to approach. But people who do know him... Oh, I mean me, obviously. I think he's like a little cat.

Pet him for a while, and he'll roll over and let you rub his belly.

My wife and I got together at eighteen. We dated for three years and exchanged rings. Then we stayed together for another eight years, until my twenty-ninth birthday.

My wife, Shen Zhishen.

Died.

I can't remember what happened then anymore. The only thing I remember is that from then on, my wife Shen Zhishen would never appear in my life again.

There would never again be anyone who stubbornly put on a tough front but secretly knitted me a crooked scarf out of kindness. No one would quietly take care of me when I got sick. There would never be anyone...

There would never be anyone who was my wife, Shen Zhishen.

My wife Shen Zhishen died when I was twenty-nine, at the very end of his twenty-eighth year.

After that, I drifted through ten years in a daze, and finally chose to end my own life at thirty-nine, bringing my painful later years to a close.

I thought death would mean facing endless darkness.

But I never imagined that when I opened my eyes again...

...I would see my wife, Shen Zhishen.

Theme: Only love endures unchanged.