I was about to retire when I got dumped into a world that mashed together several angsty danmei novels, where I was supposed to enjoy a peaceful retirement.
Because I was too normal, I wasn't allowed at the table. I was demoted from an important supporting character to a passerby who only showed up now and then.
But I still had four secret identities: the school bully's roommate, the CEO's business partner, the movie star's distant cousin, and the big spender's gaming buddy.
A passerby was fine by me. Staying out of things sounded nice and easy. But they insisted on staging all kinds of heart-wrenching scenes right in front of me, desperately trying to make me part of their games.
Watching contrived angst plots that defied all common sense become reality, I decided to teach them how to behave like normal people.
When the school bully pinned the top student against a wall, his roommate, leaning against the wall, said, "Rule Three of the dorm agreement: no forced romance."
When the CEO used a contract to threaten his rival, his business partner, representing the client, said, "This clause is illegal. I'm not signing this deal."
When the movie star publicly humiliated a newcomer, his investor cousin, who was visiting the set, said, "If you weren't raised right, you can go back and start over."
And when the insomniac domineering CEO kept a close eye on a little streamer, I handed him a new contract. "Don't be scared. I'll help you soar."
Later, the plot fell apart.
The school bully cornered me. "Roommate, teach me how to love someone normally."
The CEO handed me a new contract. "A marriage agreement."
The movie star publicly tagged me. "This is my one true love. Just so you know."
The little streamer showed up at my door with a guitar. "Big brother, I wrote a song for you."
As the angst-novel world fell apart, the System frantically jumped up and down:
[Host! Your character is to be a beautiful piece of background scenery!]
I took off my glasses and looked at the face in the mirror, which was "not aloof and fragile enough." I smiled. "I told you to let me sit at the table. Now all I can do is flip it and start cooking."
User Guide:
Jiang Jiang's vacation brainchild, with some chapters already written. Still a one-sided harem, with a lighthearted, gently snarky tone. Rivals become lovers.
Theme: Love requires mutual respect.
Goddess hahahahaha My goddess has opened a new trap [] and there is a new heart-throb rice yah miya miya mi [] [] [] School is about to start, let me fatten up for a while and then wait for me to taste Jie Jie Jie
Come on, the last book was so beautifully written ⊹꙳ ˶˙ᵕ˙˶ ⊹꙳ I've been hoarding this one for now, hoping to finish it after the college entrance examination✌︎' ֊'