The Divine Lord Only Wants to Return to the Ninth Heaven

[Stern on the outside, gluttonous Divine Venerable gong x bold, reckless twin shou, one as hot as fire and one as cold as ice]

(Story begins in November)

Legend had it that the Divine Venerable Juntian was a ferocious god of slaughter, whose strength was unfathomable and who governed all destruction and rebirth.

“Crunch, crunch, ”

The Divine Venerable Juntian lounged against an octagonal pillar as a sea of clouds surged below.

He crunched rare spirit stones, savoring their rich aroma as it filled his mouth, then snapped, “What utter nonsense!”

At the Peach Banquet of the Ninth Heaven, the Kunlun Immortal Lord presented Juntian with a spirit stone. But halfway through, his expression suddenly changed. He abruptly unleashed his powers, sending the spirit stone flying into the sky screen, which shattered.

The Heavenly Dao descended gracefully to pass judgment: “Both parties will be sent down to the mortal realm. You may return to the Ninth Heaven once you have repaired the sky screen with your own hands and made peace.”

Repairing the sky screen was no trouble. As for making peace... Proud as he was, the Divine Venerable couldn't care less and turned to leave. Then he remembered there were no spirit stones to eat in the mortal realm, so he had to swallow his pride and pretend to reconcile with the Immortal Lord.

Even when the Immortal Lord blushed and confessed his love, Juntian gritted his teeth and accepted. It was only an act. Returning to the heavenly realm was what mattered.

But when he thought he had settled things with the Immortal Lord and, full of joy, took a step to leave, the heavenly gate remained firmly shut.

The Divine Venerable Juntian grew uneasy. “What went wrong?”

The Immortal Lord lowered his eyes, his voice growing quieter and quieter. “This humble immortal... has a twin younger brother. He was the one who struck the final blow that day.”

The Divine Venerable Juntian's smile froze.

“Where is he?” he asked, forcing himself to stay calm.

The Immortal Lord lowered his head and said nothing. After a long pause, he murmured, “My younger brother... always wants to take everything from me. I was afraid...”

Before he could finish, a figure came spinning down behind them, his voice as cold as an icy spring. “It's too late, Brother.”

The Divine Venerable Juntian turned and met a face exactly like the Immortal Lord's.

Only those eyes were cold and utterly devoid of warmth.

At last, he understood why everyone in the heavenly realm said the Kunlun Immortal Lord had a mercurial temperament. It turned out there were two of them all along.

One was as gentle as spring water, the other as cold as dark ice.

The Divine Venerable Juntian forced a smile and held out his hand, trying to make peace.

The younger brother, sword in his arms, turned aside and deftly avoided him. A mocking smile touched his lips. “The Divine Venerable already has my brother. Could it be... that you want me too?”

Before the Divine Venerable could answer, the older brother spoke, brimming with jealousy. “The Divine Venerable can only choose one. Will you have my younger brother, or me?”

The Divine Venerable Juntian gazed at the two identical faces before him, and a storm surged in his heart.

He might never make it back to the Ninth Heaven.

[Bonus scene]

During the hundred years he spent repairing the sky screen in the mortal realm, the Divine Venerable once chanced upon an immortal herb and casually tossed it to the Immortal Lord.

That night, the Immortal Lord pushed open the door, holding a steaming bowl of soup. He offered it with an expectant look. “Drink it all. It's very nourishing.”

The soup smelled so potent that one sniff made his blood surge. The Divine Venerable's scalp tingled. While the Immortal Lord wasn't looking, he secretly poured the whole bowl into a flowerpot in the corner.

The wilted, thirsty flower immediately sprang upright, as stiff as an iron rod, and stood motionless in the pot.

The Divine Venerable's hand trembled, and he nearly crushed the bowl.

The Immortal Lord studied him for a long while, saw no reaction, and left, full of suspicion.

The Divine Venerable Juntian spent the whole night on guard, finally making it to the next morning.

The younger brother walked in, expressionless, carrying an identical bowl of soup.

The Divine Venerable broke down. “I already drank some last night...”

Resentment surged in the younger brother's eyes. “You can drink what my brother gives you. Why can't you drink mine?”

Holding the bowl, he climbed beside the Divine Venerable and began undressing him without further ado.

Gazing at the younger brother's flushed eyes, the Divine Venerable Juntian realized for the first time that maybe getting back to the Ninth Heaven wasn't quite so urgent after all.

[Bonus]

The God of Wealth, He Lian, sent a voice transmission: “Juntian, we all believe you'll be back soon.”

Squeezed between the two Immortal Lords, one on either side, the Divine Venerable Juntian was silent for a long time before replying with his spiritual sense: “This is going to be difficult.”

He Lian replied at once: “We'll always support you! You can do it!”

Juntian's occupied mouth struggled to move, and he was instantly moved to tears. “Friends forever...”

At the same time, in an immortal palace somewhere in the Ninth Heaven,

He Lian made a mark on a jade slip. A pale golden light separated from his body and merged into a dice tray. He turned to the gathered immortals with a smile and said, “I'll wager a hundred merits that Juntian can't handle both Immortal Lords.”

The immortals erupted. “So much for always supporting him?!”

His friend winked, his expression sly. “Don't get me wrong! I support Juntian from the bottom of my heart. It's just that the wager is the opposite of my real opinion. The immortal palace runs on the sea of clouds.”

Theme: The way of yin and yang has always been a matter of turning one way and facing the other