The Foolish Beauty Is Born Lucky

I'm back!!! Updates resume tomorrow!!!

[Historical fantasy, unhinged x narcissistic little phoenix]

In the twenty-sixth year of Yonghe, the gods paved a road of rosy light and sent a phoenix to be reborn into a merchant family.

By all rights, Yu Yan's life story should have gone like this: enter government service at ten, become emperor at twenty, and ride off on a crane at thirty, earning an immortal reputation as a great ruler in the history books.

Unfortunately, there was a slight mishap on the way to his new life.

Nuwa poured her heart and soul into sculpting his face. When it came time to make his brain... she dozed off and forgot.

Yu Yan: 6...

*

Fortunately, Heaven took pity on Yu Yan and gave him a cheat: his dreams connected directly to the twenty-first century!

All he had to do was fall asleep, and he could see the high-temperature furnaces in glass factories, the glowing molten steel in smelters, and the latest patents on graduate students' computers.

But there was one problem: people usually can't remember all of their dreams.

And an even bigger problem: Yu Yan was convinced he remembered every bit!

Before he turned ten, he told his mother the half-baked knowledge from his dreams, and she was so frightened that she invited a monk to exorcise him.

After he turned ten, his mother died. His legitimate older half-brother took the opportunity to spread rumors that Yu Yan was crazy. After hearing it often enough, even their father believed it and left him to fend for himself.

Yu Yan's attitude was: What did you say? Never mind, it doesn't matter. You look well today.

#LOL, his IQ is too low to understand sarcasm#

*

Lou Baichuan, the richest man in the empire and an abandoned son of the imperial family.

He's handsome, rich, and smart... and also sick in the head.

He'd had everything, and found it all boring, until he met Yu Yan.

He'd never met anyone he couldn't see right through.

The less he understood Yu Yan, the more he had to get to the bottom of him. But after taking Yu Yan apart piece by piece, he discovered, to his astonishment:

There was nothing beneath that beautiful face.

Lou Baichuan: If he's useless, I might as well keep him as a little toy in the palm of my hand and amuse myself.

Before he could finish speaking, TNT blew up his feet, a steel spike jabbed him in the waist, and high-yield crops filled his granaries.

Only then did everyone realize Yu Yan wasn't crazy at all. He was a real phoenix who could lay golden eggs!

Yu Yan, the new richest man (who builds pigsties out of gold bricks and keeps no pigs): I told you ages ago, Lou Baichuan was nothing but a stepping-stone for me!

*

Those hoping to see the little phoenix fall to earth and become a chicken were crestfallen. They cursed Lou Baichuan's damned good fortune through gritted teeth!

But in reality, Lou Baichuan stepped on a leaf from a newly cultivated Shine Muscat grapevine and ended up with his left cheek