All My Dao Companions Are Nonhuman

[Good-for-Nothing, Laid-Back, Soft and Fragrant Senior Sister vs. All Kinds of Inhuman, Perverted Men]

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She transmigrates into the role of the senior sister of the Ruthless Dao, only to end up in a seduction-demon plot (?).

On her very first day as an apprentice, she discovers that the strongest person in the cultivation world, her master, who has transcended worldly desires and whose mere gaze feels blasphemous, is actually a dummy molded from pottery clay and bone ash.

After she stumbles upon his secret, her master lowers his head. Beneath his silky black hair, his ascetic face flushes with a sickly red. He shoots out Immortal-Binding Ropes, drags her beneath him, and forces her into unspeakable acts to seal their bond.

...Master, we're reproductively incompatible, aaah!

She refuses ten times over, then scrambles off to the back mountain to find her senior brother.

Her senior brother has the body of a sword immortal, is as bright and noble as the moon, and always appears when danger strikes. Surely he can rescue her from this disaster.

But he only smiles faintly, lowering his eyes. Beneath his emerald Daoist robes, which trail all the way to the ground, an ugly, deformed snake tail winds around her waist and belly, coiling tightly. Its spread, hard scales caress her skin.

"Choose me, Junior Sister. I'll give you twice the pleasure."

Her: Just two...?

I'll die! Sob, sob, sob!

Afraid of being played to pieces, she flees overnight to the mortal world, where she happens upon a handsome young nobleman. They travel together and have a wonderful time.

Until one night, he sneaks into her home trying to become her groom, and she learns that he's the King of Ghosts of Fengdu, whose interest in her has gone through the roof.

This bizarre guy insists on achieving perfect harmony with her inside a coffin.

At her wit's end, she wraps herself up from head to toe and sneaks into a Daoist temple that suppresses ghosts and drives out evil.

There stands a white jade Guanyin statue, dressed in red and smiling with a flower between her fingers. Worshiped for generations, it has long since gained sentience.

After listening to her recount her troubles, Guanyin sheds a tear and takes her in.

It would be perfect if only it didn't feed her strange, oddly shaped meat, or hold her close and kiss her while its followers prayed,

or conjure mysterious tentacles to peel open her skirt and leave her in a complete mess...

A Chinese horror and Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio atmosphere, with a modern-day overworked heroine transmigrating into the story and doing bizarre things, while her partners get up to steamy antics.

*An experimental writing exercise, completely letting loose

Theme: Be kind.