Transmigration to the Three Kingdoms, a golden finger blind box, absurdist humor and snark. Warning: a little angst later on. Happy ending.
Contains supernatural elements and changes to historical events. If that's not your thing, please be kind.
Fake-out blurb:
College student Ma Xiaotian wished for "a pro to carry me" while gaming. He closed his eyes, opened them again, and found himself inside the command tent of Lu Bu's army. Facing the fearsome "peerless warrior, Lu Bu," with his Fangtian Halberd in hand, Ma Xiaotian shakily activated the only golden finger in his mind: the [Blind Box Wish System].
All he wanted was a life-saving artifact. [Ding! Blind box opened!] A single pink plastic flower appeared in his palm. He pressed the switch, and a wickedly catchy electronic voice rang out through the solemn Three Kingdoms encampment: "Hajimi, south and north, mung beans..."
Lu Bu fell silent. Chen Gong was stunned. Was this the legendary sage from beyond the world who could determine the fate of all under heaven?
From then on, the Three Kingdoms took a wildly unexpected turn. When the armies faced off, others deployed battle formations while Ma Xiaotian handed out yellow duck umbrellas to the troops. At the banquet, others competed in eloquence while Ma Xiaotian pulled out cumin and chili powder for a camp barbecue. When it came to using a beauty to sow discord, others employed elaborate schemes while Ma Xiaotian played pop rock for Diaochan.
People said Lu Fengxian was a warrior of supernatural courage, and now he had a heaven-sent genius with a screw loose to assist him. Only Ma Xiaotian knew he was just trying to stay alive. And only he knew that the God of War whom everyone feared would take off his armor late at night and stare, rather awkwardly, at the wiggling plastic toy.
Then came the blizzard beneath Xiapi's walls. The Blind Box System issued a cold notification: [Your highest-level wish has been unlocked. Please pay the price.] At last, Ma Xiaotian understood that every seemingly absurd gift had come with a price, quietly marked out from the start.
Theme: The weight of a wish
I read part of the author's last article. After reading this article, I always feel that the two are very similar. It has a very sad tone, plastic flowers, little yellow ducks, and bubble machines. It is a very funny combination no matter how you look at it, but it makes people feel a little sad just looking at it. But I really like this story. Very special.