[Honkai: Star Rail] Whose Little Bird Fell into the River of the Dead?

Here are some upcoming stories to look forward to: "We Cosplayed Ichigo for Three Days and Transmigrated" "Multiverse: It's Not Bootleg Liquor, It's Vongola!" (This story will be exclusive tomorrow. Thank you all for your love and support!) Story blurb: 'Frostmist' is an S-rank secret identity administrator in the Temporal Management Division of the Dimensional Correction Bureau, currently working overtime like crazy... He had just kicked a soul that had wandered into the River of the Dead back out while wearing a secret identity, and now another soul had fallen in! What the hell is wrong with the Technology Department? They deserve to have a hundred years' worth of bonuses docked! The world is leaking like a sieve! So, to send the lost soul back and retrieve the kindling that had escaped when the world's barrier broke, 'Frostmist' had no choice but to wear a secret identity and travel to another world. What's this? A little bird? Scoop it up. A little spider? Tease it. A bat? Pick a fight with it. After the roar of the explosion and the searing heat, long-missed peace and quiet finally arrived. The world after death was nothing like he had imagined. The second Robin followed the gray-haired boy to the end of the River of the Dead. There lay an endless sea of flowers, and a girl more beautiful than the flowers themselves. "There's no need to be alarmed, sir. This is the end of the west wind, a gentle home where souls return to peace." The mistress of the River of the Dead had fingertips warmer than a winter hearth, enough to dispel the anger and pain in his heart. "May death protect your soul." Inside the castle surrounded by the River of the Dead, the gray-haired boy's eyes widened. "You said you're a Robin?" "The real deal." The second Robin puffed out his chest. "So you're famous?" "Of course." Nobody in Gotham doesn't know Robin! "Then I bet you have an older brother." "That's right." How did he guess that? "Oh my gosh! You really are a robin!" "...Wait, I don't think we're talking about the same thing!" "Uh... So we have two old popsicles now?" Iron Tank looked at the blocks of ice they had fished out together, at a loss for words. The utterly inelegant wording made March want to freeze him into a popsicle too. 'You're the popsicle, and you're the old one! I'm a girl who never ages, got it?' Unfortunately, nobody else could see her, so March could only swing her fists through the air and smack him on the head a few times. "Achoo!" Iron Tank rubbed his nose. "Did you give me a cold? Does this count as a workplace injury?" A young reporter in Metropolis finds a red-haired girl... who can fly. "Hi, little Clark, *we* are Tia! I need to find... What was it again?" She seems a little confused. The young reporter takes her in for the time being. She's such a cheerful kid, and the house soon becomes lively. "You look younger than me, so you should call me Big Brother Joe!" Little Joe protests her choice of address. "No! *We're* older, so you're Little Little Joe!" For some reason, the girl is very sure of herself. The young reporter walks by, pushes up his glasses, and smiles contentedly. As for being called Little Clark, he's already over it. Really. P.S. 1. A Honkai: Star Rail secret identity story. No one ever reveals their identity. Everyone is in a platonic, no-CP relationship. It's a lighthearted happy ending, with no angst. 2. All the secret identities are from Amphoreus, including the three members of the Astral Express crew: the male Trailblazer, Egg Yolk, and March. 3. Please don't self-insert. Since the Trailblazer is treated like the group's darling, I'm making that clear. 4. Lots of personal headcanons and stereotypes, with OOC characters and rough writing. This is just a silly, fun little story, so please be gentle. 5. Reasonable suggestions are welcome. Thanks for reading! [Upcoming story: "Honkai: Star Rail Multiverse: Is the Raccoon You Dropped Gray or Red?"] Upcoming story blurb: While grinding through the Simulated Universe, the Trailblazer is unfortunately elbowed out of the world by Aha, who is muttering something about 'fun' and 'trailblazing.' The crew, waiting for their little raccoon to return to the train for dinner, are furious: Damn it, who kidnapped our little raccoon?! The cool, stoic little dragon: Trailblazing is on hold. I'm going to find them. The Stellaron Hunters: The script is on hold. We're going to find them. The lady with the pointy hat: The Simulated Universe is on hold. I'll help you look. Aha, you better hope the Conductor doesn't catch you. If they do, you'll have to explain yourself to the front of the train! Aha: Boo-hoo-hoo~ Aha has no dignity, haha~ The Trailblazer wakes up in a strange new world and discovers that they've turned into a scruffy gray raccoon who loves rummaging through trash cans! "Squeak!" Oh my gosh! That's me! The little Trailblazer raccoon holds up its paws, very pleased with its new form. Mom, I'm done being human! They even make a friend in this state: a red-hooded little raccoon who looks a bit grumpy but is actually super reliable! "Squeak squeak squeak!" Magic users, get out of Gotham! The Red Hood boss, unfortunately caught in the crossfire, lets out an angry growl. Even after turning into a raccoon, life goes on. Red Hood has no choice but to team up with the strange little raccoon for now. Asking Old Bat for help is absolutely out of the question! 'You can't eat trash!' The Red Hood raccoon frantically smacks the can that once held Joker laughing gas out of the other's paws. 'Don't shove everything into your mouth! That's poisonous trash. It'll kill you!' 'No, it won't. I ate poison before. My stomach hurt for a while, but I didn't even get sick.' The Trailblazer raccoon proudly shares a story that makes the Red Hood boss want to scream. 'NO! You need to understand that you're just an ordinary raccoon. Eating something filthy can kill you!' 'I'm not an ordinary raccoon. I'm a person... Okay, maybe I'm not a person either.' The little raccoon, a Stellaron vessel, falls into thought. How should they even introduce themself? No need to explain. Red Hood has already figured it all out. Bro, your mental state is kind of inhuman... Oh! That's because you're not human! No matter how carefully they hide it, the fact that Red Hood has turned into a raccoon eventually gets out. "Squeak!!!" You want to fight? I'm the Galaxy Bat Hero, and I'm not afraid of you! The Trailblazer raccoon bristles and hisses at the human-shaped giant bat. They'll protect their new friend! "...I'm glad you made a new friend, but you need a full physical examination." Batman blocks the two little raccoons in an alley, his tone rather complicated. The walls of the alley nearby are already crowded with Bat-family birds. "Oh my gosh! Little Wing has made a friend. They get along so well~" The big blue bird looks delighted. "Tt. Has Todd become so weak that he needs an ordinary raccoon to protect him?" Robin looks down at them. "Since he isn't a qualified caretaker, I should take over custody of this raccoon." The little birds chatter noisily. The Trailblazer raccoon finally realizes the human-shaped giant bat isn't an enemy. "Squeak!" Cool! Your friend is a giant bat! They excitedly circle around the giant bat's feet. "Squeak squeak~" But it's still nothing compared to my friend, the cool, stoic little dragon. The Trailblazer pats Red Hood on the arm and gives their expert opinion. "Squeak..." I don't care who it is. Your mommy, your oldest uncle, your second uncle, your aunt, or your friend, can someone get us out of here? Red Hood has lost all his sparkle after being fussed over by the Bats. Don't ask for much. Just have your raccoon family charge into these little birds one by one. 'Listen: your enemy is yourself.' One elegant purple-haired woman makes an entire gang slaughter one another with a single sentence. Red Hood, back in human form, watches from the side with the little raccoon in his arms, eyes wide with shock. When did someone this dangerous show up in Gotham? Just as he's about to make a temporary retreat, the little raccoon breaks free from his arms and runs toward the dangerous woman. "Squeak!" Mommy! Red Hood hears the raccoon call out joyfully and feels like the sky is falling. What the f**k!!! So your mommy is a human!? And when you said your oldest uncle was a magical cat, your second uncle couldn't die, your aunt was a genius hacker, and your best friend was a cool, stoic little dragon, you weren't making it up??? Red Hood: Look me in the eyes!!! Theme: Live boldly and keep trailblazing!