Empress? I Think Ruling as Regent Suits Me Better! What Do You Think, Yue Fei?

Princess Pingyang, known as Princess Zhao of the State, woke up in the body of Empress Wu, Zhao Gou's wife. The first thing she did was look for the history books.

The Xuanwu Gate Incident? Sure, that sounds like something my second brother would do.

Wu Zetian? She really was capable, but didn't think things through. The matter of an heir should have been settled much earlier.

Empress Wei and Princess Anle? Hah, staging a coup when you have no one in the army?

Li Longji, why didn't you die twenty years earlier!

After reading enough history, she took a look at the current political situation. Life in the palace was quite comfortable, and she could even order food from outside. Such openness must mean the empire was at peace and prosperous.

First, let's get something to eat. I wonder how much mutton costs these days?

What? Why is it so expensive?

Because we've lost all the sheep-grazing lands in the north?!

Bring me the map. Let me have a look...

What?!

My Great Tang is reduced to that tiny patch of land?

Take a deep breath. Don't get angry!

Let's figure out what's going on first. Since ancient times, the hardest relationships to manage are between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law, and between sisters-in-law. I'll go meet the women in the palace and see what they're like...

What? There aren't any?!

The emperor's mother is a captive in the north, the emperor's father is a captive in the north, and the emperor's elder brother, sisters, nieces, and grandnieces are all captives in the north?!

Then surely they're sharpening their weapons and preparing for a northern expedition?

Alas, without horse-breeding lands, it'll be hard to fight a war.

What? There's a man named Yue Fei who's already advanced to Zhuxian Town? Wonderful, wonderful...

What? This useless man by my side recalled Yue Fei, who'd been winning battle after battle, with twelve golden orders, then slapped him with the charge of "fabricated crimes"? And now he's about to have him executed?

Do you even know how to be an emperor? If you don't, step aside!

Yuan'er, come here and sit down. Don't be afraid. Mother will govern from behind the scenes for you... Your sister will govern from behind the scenes for you...

You there, bring Yue Fei to me.

Qin Hui, you're good at writing, right? Go write a declaration of war to the Jin. If you say another word, you'll go deliver it yourself!

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They say women in the army will only become spoils of war coveted by the enemy. Hongyu, do you want a chance to prove yourself? I can give you one.

If women can't read, what kind of children can they teach? Women need to go to school too! Make it happen!

Why are you against women taking the imperial examinations? If you can't even beat a woman, that's a pretty poor showing.

If she can come first in the examinations, then she has the talent to be the top scholar. Why can't she serve as an official?

Since we have female officials, it makes perfect sense to have two changing rooms in the government offices...

One step at a time.

Reader advisory:

This is a feel-good power fantasy that follows the spirit of historical fiction, not a work of rigorous historical research that adheres absolutely to the record. I'll try to keep the details in line with the Southern Song, so at least there won't be things like chili peppers, potatoes, or peanut oil. I'll do my best with the rest.

If you insist on historical accuracy, even the existence of the Battle of Zhuxian Town is disputed. No one knows whether Princess Roufu was real or fake. The term "Yue Family Army" wasn't used while Yue Fei was alive. Even the place names are a mess, and there are wildly different accounts of the relationships between Han Shizhong, Yue Fei, and Zhao Gou.

Theme: Who says women are inferior to men?