[I'm sorry, I really can't keep writing this book. Kneels]
Blurb:
1
As the only daughter of an elder of the Alchemy Path, Qiu Luan's only worry is how to break off her engagement.
Her fiance is favored by the Heavenly Dao. He cultivates faster than anyone else in the cultivation world, can hear the will of Heaven, and can read fate.
Then one day, Qiu Luan recovers her memories of transmigrating into a book and realizes that her fiance is the male lead, while she's the female supporting character.
Qiu Luan brings up breaking off the engagement again.
The next day, her fiance goes into seclusion.
Qiu Luan: Fine, then.
2
To keep Qiu Luan from breaking off their engagement, Jiang Zhenhong has spent the past few years either in seclusion or away from the mountain.
Only once, after waking up unconscious and injured, does he find Qiu Luan there to visit him.
Jiang Zhenhong:!
Before he can even feel happy, he hears Qiu Luan say, "I want to break off our engagement."
Jiang Zhenhong says nothing. The next day, still sick, he heads back into seclusion.
3
After going down the mountain, Jiang Zhenhong secretly stashes every handkerchief Qiu Luan casually tosses aside in his storage ring.
He thinks she'll never find out about any of it.
Then he dies.
While going through his belongings, Qiu Luan discovers them by chance and calls him a pervert while standing over his coffin.
One-on-one, happy ending, fundamentally a sweet romance, no childbearing.
The male lead will come back to life later.
At its heart, this is a story about a heroine who grows and saves the world.
Theme: Love can overcome any obstacle
Looking forward to daily updates When you get big [orange candy] I got [orange candy] I got [orange candy] I got [orange candy] I got [orange candy] I got [orange candy] I got [orange candy] I got [orange candy] I got [orange candy] It's [orange candy] It's here [orange candy] It's here [orange candy] It's here [orange candy] It's here [orange candy] It's here [orange candy] It's here [orange candy] It's here [orange candy] It's here [orange candy] It's here
Waiting for a major update, I ate out twice in a row after my night shift yesterday. It was so energy-consuming.
After reading the article, make a brief evaluation 1. Plot overview Baby, you can pay more attention to sentence fragmentation when writing. Some sentences are too long and seem a bit laborious. For example, in the first chapter, "The male protagonist and the male supporting characters searched for many ways to save the female protagonist after she had been inactive for hundreds of years, and saved her." ", Here you can make a break after "rescuing the heroine", and "hundreds of years ago" seems not very smooth, and "rescuing the heroine" has been mentioned before, and then "rescuing her" has to be said again, which is a bit lengthy. Moreover, what happened after Qiu Luan entered the secret realm was directly mentioned at the very beginning, and the explanation about the secret realm only appeared in the middle of the first paragraph. It may seem a little unclear at first glance. Babies can pay attention to this, but it does not affect reading very much. Of course, honey, in terms of plot shaping, I don't think there's any big problem. The plot narrative is very interesting and coherent. It is not sloppy and makes people want to read on. However, if a plot hook can be designed at the end of each chapter, then I think it will be better. For example, at the end of the first chapter, some strange sounds that may be heard in Qiu Luan's place can be used as a plot hook. There is no need to explain it. Wait until the beginning of the second chapter to explain what it is, and then you can smoothly connect with what happened to her. 2. Plot setting The description of Aluan entering the fantasy world is very good, but it is a little abrupt at the end. It could also be a small foreshadowing when he first enters the fantasy world, but with the current description, it is already very good, and I think it is also very interesting. The pace of the fantasy feels a little faster. I think this is the first positive interaction between A Luan and Jiang Zhenhong. I can go in depth and describe some of the details of their relationship. Of course, your current description is already very good. I am just making some small comments. Although there are many articles on immortality on the market, it is really commendable that you can write different new ideas and bloom different fireworks. Moreover, the plot has nothing to criticize logically, and there is no outrageous plot to copy the popular memes on the market. Your article is like clear running water, which is very easy to read. 3. Character creation Your writing is really great. In just a few chapters, you have already created the characters of Aluan and Jiang Zhenhong very well. The characters you write are all living people with flesh and blood. It can be seen that you have devoted a lot of love to them, and they also show your talent in writing, which is rare. Fourth, a brief review of the messy and fragmented 1. The first sentence at the beginning of Chapter 5 is a bit disconnected from the end of Chapter 4. 2. Wasn't Jiang Zhenhong still in retreat during the fifth chapter? Why did the retreat end in Chapter 6? There doesn't seem to be any prompts. Maybe I read too quickly and maybe I didn't pay attention to the details. 3. In fact, I personally think that I can add a bit of God's perspective to write down what Jiang Zhenhong thought about Aluan when he was in retreat, or some of his psychology when Aluan wanted to break off their engagement with him. This can be used to deeply reflect Jiang Zhenhong's feelings for Aluan. 4. It feels like the plot is always about a trial, either in the trial or on the way to the trial. You can add some warmer and fresher plots, such as picking fairy grass or elixirs in order to make elixirs, or if Aluan is not inspiring to study hard, you can write a story Next, it is about some interesting things she has seen. You can also write about Aluan's social interactions with other people, and write about the relationship between Aluan and the senior brothers and sisters around him. Then you can also add some conversational words to supplement the background setting of this big world, as well as some plot character settings. Five, what's in my heart Actually, I am still a little hesitant and uneasy when I write a review for the product, because the review is really good. In fact, some of my suggestions are nitpicking to some extent, but I think there is still room for modification in this part, so I pointed it out. If the baby feels that what I pointed out is incorrect or a bit sharp, then just selectively ignore what I said. After all, you are already very good, and there is no need to feel anxious or worried because of what I said. Finally, I wish the baby will get better and better, be able to persist on the road of writing, and gain his own success.
Damn, how long has it been? I haven't opened jj for a long time, and there is no update [Joker][Joker]
Happy New Year's Day to the author
So when can we update more?
Waiting for a big update. Yesterday I ate out twice in a row. It was so energy-consuming.
Very fragrant rice, please come on
Come on. [Orange candy] I got it. [Orange candy] I got it. [Orange candy] I got it. [Orange candy] I got it. [Orange candy] I got it.
Wait for more updates, please reply [pink heart][pink heart]