Zhao You Ting is widely regarded in the palace as the most unreliable prince. Raised among women, his hobbies are affecting an air of refinement and collecting beauties.
He has a great outlook on life: he has three capable elder brothers, and his father even got the sudden idea to appoint his royal uncle as the "Heir Apparent Prince." No matter how you look at it, the Dragon Throne has nothing to do with him, a carefree slacker.
Might as well relax and enjoy himself. Whoever ascends the throne will have to support a useless little brother like him, right?
Who knew his eldest brother was an absolute monster? After a flurry of ruthless moves, he killed off several younger brothers and poisoned their uncle. But in the end, he dreamed of bloody ghosts in the middle of the night and was scared to death on the Dragon Throne.
Overnight, that blood-soaked, still-warm crown came crashing down with a clang, landing squarely on Zhao You Ting, who was sneaking grapes from the imperial garden.
*
"I don't know how to govern."
Seated on the Dragon Throne, he announced this sincerely to the assembled officials.
"But I can kill indiscriminately."
The officials: "... ?"
They soon understood what the new emperor meant by "killing indiscriminately":
The selection of palace attendants was changed to a beauty pageant, with the emperor choosing whoever caught his fancy.
"Your eyes aren't alluring enough. Rejected!"
"Your skin isn't fair enough. Disqualified!"
"You're not stunning enough. How are you supposed to improve my mood?"
Three months later, the palace attendants' looks had improved dramatically, and their work efficiency had mysteriously risen too. After all, the good-looking ones were all competing with each other, and nobody wanted to be outdone.
All the memorials were dumped on the sickly top scorer. Back when he hadn't yet ascended the throne, Zhao You Ting had kicked him to put on an act in front of his eldest brother, nearly kicking him into coughing up blood.
Ever since, whenever they met, the top scholar would instinctively cup a hand over his mouth when he coughed blood, revealing the thin, delicate wrist beneath his sleeve.
"My dear subject, I'm counting on you." Zhao You Ting pushed a mountain of memorials toward him.
The top scholar looked up at him in silence. He said nothing, only reaching out with a hand that was bony and trembling slightly to take the memorials.
The young general returned from a blood-soaked battle, saw the emperor's dissolute behavior, and was furious enough to demand that the emperor's wicked attendants be purged.
Zhao You Ting offered him a plate of pastries. "My dear subject, have some first. You'll need your strength to assassinate the emperor."
Everyone waited for this absurd emperor to ruin the country.
But three years passed:
The top scholar had lost ten pounds from overwork, but the treasury was full;
The young general complained nonstop, but the borders were secure;
The palace attendants worked themselves to the bone and somehow became the most efficient intelligence network in history.
Zhao You Ting sat on the Dragon Throne, cracking sunflower seeds as he watched his handsome ministers bicker below. Looking at his flourishing empire, he fell into deep thought:
"I was obviously messing around..."
Theme: Make the most of every day
