It was only when Su Nianwan died that she learned that Lu Xingci, the god of learning whom she avoided like a snake, had done so many things for her.
The tuition paid anonymously, the gangsters who quietly drove away, the light that stayed on for her late at night...
But she was blinded by the rumors, took his overtures as ridicule, and pushed him away with the most hurtful words. It wasn't until the end of her life that she saw clearly his deep affection hidden under his indifference.
Once again, she returned to the classroom where she was seventeen years old. The cicadas were chirping noisily, and the boy was sitting in the front row.
She clutched his favorite mint candy and plucked up the courage to walk towards him, but she only received a frozen look in her eyes: "Stay away from me."
It turns out he remembers everything.
I remember her smashing the umbrella he handed me, remembering her tearing up the notes he wrote, and remembering her words, "I hate you the most."
This time, she approached with full of regret, but he dodged with scars all over his body.
She knew the truth, but she couldn't say "I'm sorry" clearly;
He was trapped in the hurt of the past and couldn't understand the "I'm back" in her eyes.
The mints were crushed in the palm of the hand, the unsent notes were thrown into the wastebasket, and the antipyretic medicine on the rainy night was never handed out...
The tenderness hidden in the details eventually became a knife stabbing each other.
Later, someone asked Lu Xingci what was the most regrettable thing in his youth.
He looked out the window and was silent for a long time before saying: "That summer, I didn't dare to hand over an umbrella again."
——
"Lu Xingci, what if... I treated you badly before?"
"Yeah."
"Then now I..."
"No need."
He didn't know that what she wanted to say was "I want to make up for it."
She didn't know that what he didn't say was "I'm afraid of being pushed away by you again."
(One-way rebirth, two-way secret love, full text sadistic, no happy ending)
Intention: Missing something is a regret that is engraved in our bones and blood.