How to Become the Protagonist

"I'm a person." "Mm." "I really am a person!" "Oh." "I'm seriously a person, damn it! Can you stop brushing me off?! Look down, I'm right here!" "...So you were the one talking!" Phil says you should be careful about who you help when returning lost property! But what Lu Xi really wants to say is... Please, heavens, let me be the protagonist for once! This is the story of a ridiculously unlucky villain trying his best to become the protagonist, and an absurdly lucky character who always has the protagonist's halo. Because of this story's unusual nature, all sorts of strange things will get mixed in. Don't be too surprised. I just want to see how many bizarre plot twists I can cram into it. Want to know that I didn't settle on this blurb until I was writing Chapter Four? Okay, it was Chapter Seven when I revised it =.=