A Retired Auntie and Her Sword: Daily Life in Mihua

[Advance Notice] The couple bonus chapters have multiple routes. The subscription threshold is very low: just 10% to read them. Please choose whether to skip ahead based on your preferences. Other bonus chapters have a 40% subscription threshold. *The lifespan issue has a solution, and it has nothing to do with the Black Organization* - Akiba Tsukiumi, a veteran magical girl (crossed out) overworked government contractor and Saniwa who signed a contract with Konnosuke as soon as she reached the minimum age for employment. She thought she could keep this job from childhood to old age, since the Time Retrograde Army reproduced at a rate comparable to Guangzhou-style twin tails. That was until one day, when her powerful colleagues successfully stopped the Time Retrograde Army from ever coming into existence. So Akiba Tsukiumi took her huge retirement payout, brought the complete sword roster with her, and returned to her hometown of Beika Town to begin a happy retirement at a young age. ...Well, it wasn't entirely happy, because there was one bad piece of news: Her original world had been under prolonged observation by other dimensions, and the manga and anime serving as the medium for this observation had become so popular that they were influencing the world's timeline in return, throwing time into chaos and sending the crime rate skyrocketing. Even the Time Retrograde Army would have been impressed. When a friend she had met on a battlefield heard about her extraordinary background, they sent her several crucial documents overnight and told her to study them carefully, preferably memorizing every word. After reading what looked like a rules-horror guide, The ■ Student Survival Guide, she skimmed An Introduction to the Important Figures of the ■ School World and A Prediction of Key Events in the ■ School World to Keep the Kebiishi Away from Me. Finally, she read through Statistics on Common Motives and Methods for Killing several times and fell into thought. Could she really have a peaceful retirement? Her prospects were completely screwed.jpg Anyway, things had come to this, so she'd retire first and figure out the rest later. As for the swords' plans for their future lives, whether they wanted to sit back with tea, pursue hobbies, or go out every now and then to cut down a few monsters for exercise (?), Akiba Tsukiumi encouraged them all. And what about her? After careful consideration, she took over the cafe downstairs from a detective agency. -- [Who tried to blow up Aruji's house?] Suspect A: Two brats came out of nowhere. One said he wanted to have a go at me, and before I could get the wrong idea, he hit me. Then the other one charged in yelling things like, "For Aruji!" and "I'm not a useless sword!" You should really investigate this. What kind of decent person raises kids like that? Suspect B: Pretty much what my buddy said. I ran into a dark-skinned guy with tattoos and a green-haired one. The two of them hit me with a combo move and nearly cut me in three. Seriously, we were only after ten billion yen. We weren't actually planning to blow up the building. Was that level of force really necessary?! - ### Reader's Guide + Crossover, mainly Touken Ranbu and Detective Conan, mostly set in Beika, does not enter the main plot, contains a huge amount of original worldbuilding. + Many characters who were supposed to die will be saved, both intentionally and through the butterfly effect. Historical revisionism is reasonably avoided. (Saving characters from death does clash with Touken Ranbu canon, so I'm trying to make it work... wiping sweat.gif.) + The Saniwa is strong, with the standard (?) Detective Conan crossover tragic and beautiful backstory, but her family and swords have given her so much that she's beautiful and strong, not tragic. She's basically a kind, good kid who grew up surrounded by love. Basically. (Looks away.) + Also known as I'm a Long Aotian, and After Retiring I Reincarnated as the Deeply Blue Owner of a Different-World Diner (just kidding). + No bashing the government. Everything is officially sanctioned. + No couples in the main story. Bonus chapters depend on how things go, and any romantic pairings will only be with sword warriors. Characters from other series have no romantic interest in the Saniwa. + About the Saniwa: - Her hiring age is set at the game's recommended age of 12+. The swords raised her from adolescence, so is this a completed version of a raising-kids story? She's actually been raised to be a little like Aruji herself (quietly gesturing). - A close-combat mage. The sword warriors taught her close combat. #How our young, pitiful, helpless Aruji learned ambush tactics and throwing sand to blind people from the Hijikata group# ### Warnings: - There are lots and lots of intense, all-consuming types here. (Grimly.) (Important.) - More than half of the bonus chapters are Aruji-level. Sweet, pure romance is a rare event (see the Tsurumaru route, though even that isn't entirely pure romance). Pure-love purists may get a shock. - The original worldbuilding makes the emotions of the spirits fairly muddled. Before a couple route begins, a sword's feelings for its master are assumed to be primarily devotion rather than romantic love. Even within a couple route, the master-servant dynamic may remain clear, depending on the sword warrior's personality. - There are original supporting characters with platonic relationships. Enter with caution if that bothers you. Theme: Cherish every ordinary day