The Plant Mage and Her Dumplings

Bita felt that his life was spent alternating between keeping his cool and being utterly unable to keep his cool. For example, he could keep his cool about not being human after reincarnating, but he couldn't keep his cool when he had to eat bloody raw meat. For example, he could keep his cool about how cultivation was impossible in this world, but he couldn't keep his cool when his magical life turned out to be like Plants vs. Zombies, except without the zombies. For example, he could keep his cool whether his partner was a man, a woman, or a shemale, but he couldn't keep his cool when faced with a demon king who was obsessed with fluffy cuteness, didn't mind interspecies romance, and was even willing to settle for a platonic relationship. For example, he could keep his cool about world wars, race wars, and wars between gods and demons, but he couldn't keep his cool about this distinctly postmodern world order, where poverty alleviation and economic development were used to conquer the world. Eventually, he finally realized: the author was just messing with him, wasn't she???? The pig gazed up at the sky. You finally figured it out... This story has multiple pairings and is pretty extreme (not really). The main pairing is a panda and the demon king; the side pairings are a skeleton and a prince, and a panda and a little elf. Look, we have human-and-beast romance, corpse romance, and beast-on-beast romance. How harmonious, how awesome! Best of all, as long as they don't turn into human form, I don't have to cook up any meaty scenes. So convenient ╮(╯-╰)╭ Please adopt me!! Please leave comments!! Those who lurk without commenting have to eat instant noodles every day!! I've started a new virtual online game story. It's not going premium. It's about a technically inept tech geek and a story featuring a girlish, expressionless, airheaded top and a naturally ditzy, sharp-tongued, directionally challenged bottom. If you like that sort of thing, go read it. I usually update two thousand words a day, which is basically half an update every day and a half. Yep, yep. Click to support Old Pig's other works: Cute urban monsters: Leisurely magic cultivation: Crazy virtual online game: An absurd historical fantasy: Recommended works by friends: I started a Weibo account to post random stuff when I'm bored. I'll post notices about daily updates there, so you can drop by to pester me for updates and such... Click to follow Old Pig's author page: ← Click me!!! Leave of absence notice: It's my younger cousin's birthday. I just got back, and I have to catch a flight at six thirty tomorrow morning, so I'm going to sleep first. I'll update as usual tomorrow. Damn, I'm exhausted. How can a nine-year-old have so many tricks up their sleeve? Premium Access Notice This story will go premium on January 27. I'll still update today, and tomorrow I'll post three chapters in a row. They won't count toward the usual update tally. Guide to adding funds to your Jinjiang account: Theme: