[Anime Crossover] Tales of Misfortune

Look at the picture. This isn't a tragedy, it's an unusual account of bosom weapons, seriously... Dear editor, please spare me... My butler is a demon. My spirit companion is a narcissistic, arrogant chuunibyou. My master likes to beat my face until it looks like a pig's head. My teachers are either perverts, despairing of the world, or just a mess. My deskmate is my kindred spirit, but sooner or later he'll become the god of a new age. My older brother is a [redacted], and his only good qualities are that he's rich and a good person. The guy who has a crush on me only wants to become a Gundam. I think my life really is a tragedy. Reader's guide: The Yue Jun in this story comes from Shanghai Hiyori. If there's anything you don't understand or any references you don't get, ask, and the author will do their best to explain. This story still uses an omniscient point of view, though the author's skills are limited, so I'll try to avoid that as much as possible. Also, some manga characters will get killed off. If I don't like them, I'll just kill them off. If you're faint of heart, the X in the upper right corner is there just for you. Are you sure you can handle it? Really? Then do as you please. Could you guys please stop lurking without commenting so much? I'm counting on your support to make the annual rankings, you damn tyrannical lurkers!! My editor says I've been on the rankings long enough and should start charging, or I'll have no money to get through winter. Snow will block the mountain passes, and even the landlord's family has run out of grain. So this story will go behind a paywall this Sunday, with three chapters updated. Pirated copies, watch out! If you dare to post updates at the same time as me, I'll dare to abandon the story!!!! Then I'll stuff it full of a bunch of incomprehensible nonsense for you to read!! I know this is unfair to the readers who pay, but I'm capable of doing it! Jinjiang has been glitching like crazy lately! Theme: