All the Men at Sea Want to Marry Me

[Updated at 24:05. Before 300,000 words, 50% anti-theft measures. Note: This story breaks up the canon couples Xialei, Yingpei, and others!]

A hapless witch's road home begins with running away from marriage and escaping the Figarland family.

The stupid System picked the wrong person. The moment I opened my eyes, I'd gone from a promising young witch fresh out of school to the fiancée of some scummy, rich Celestial Dragon nobleman, with a handsome stepson thrown in for good measure.

My fiancé's family was pretty rich, and if I married into the Figarlands, I could lie flat for the rest of my life.

But this wealth was too hot to handle!

Someone tried to poison me on the very first day.

I had to run away from the wedding! Who cares about money or power? My goal was to collect Devil Seeds, draw a magic circle that could cross time and space on the Final Island, and then go home!

As for the people I met on the way home...

My handsome stepson, whom I forcibly kissed to use as a tool while escaping the wedding, should be glad to see me go, right?

My rumored husband, a kindhearted blonde with red eyes and the code name Migo, would come to terms with things himself and help me keep his obsessive brother at bay, right?

That beautiful blue-and-gold bird and I were just caught up in a misunderstanding. I'll take responsibility for your reputation and explain it in the papers. Just don't fly too far with me, I'm afraid of heights!

Huh... huh?

Another stepson?

There are three red-haired men with the Figarland name who use swords?

But we have nothing to do with each other. Don't act like we're old friends and cling to me! Let go, your brother's coming after us!

You wouldn't want me to get dragged back and married off to your dad, would you?

SOS!

Didn't you say you'd let me go home?

Why have you all changed your minds? You're even more relentless than CP0!

.

The blurb and the story are both written in first person. This is my first time writing this kind of story, so please forgive any rough edges.

Recommending my upcoming Crossover novel: Electronic Pet Satoru

A new game has become popular in Yorknew. Install it on your phone, and an adorable silver-white kitty in sunglasses will wave at you obediently~

Congratulations, you've raised a Satoru kitty!

It's a rare SSR pet, and there's only one in the whole game!

He's lively and sweet, and loves to be affectionate. He often wanders off and is a real troublemaker, but as long as you keep caring for him, buying him sweets, giving him sweets, and coming up with new ways to feed him sweets,

he'll say:

[The edamame fresh-cream daifuku is gone. Go buy some more.]

Eleanor: ...Doesn't he completely take me for granted?

That ungrateful, arrogant, stinky cat. I'm done raising him!!

Just kidding. She still had to raise him.

After all, Satoru was too beautiful, and his friends Geto the fox and Shoko the rabbit were just as lovely.

On a whim, Eleanor taught the well-behaved monkeys in the game to use psychic powers. Geto's expression was so priceless that she took screenshot after screenshot.

She built a pregnancy stone into the wall of the Zenin main house. The owner was called Naoya? And he was a rainbow-colored pig! A pig, surely he could have lots of babies in one litter!

There was only one thing that seemed off.

After she logged back into the game, Satoru seemed a little different.

.

"Hey, Suguru, do you believe in fairy godmothers?"

The handsome silver-haired boy in sunglasses was eating a fresh daifuku sent by a mysterious person. He couldn't be bothered to wait for his friend to answer, and swung his legs as he said smugly, "Never mind. I'm the main character of this world. You wouldn't understand even if I told you."

Suguru Geto: "...Let's practice. Right here, right now."

But could a fairy godmother suddenly disappear, too?

Was it a special curse technique, or had the whole thing been a plot aimed at him from the beginning?

And it happened just as Suguru left, too...

Once you've experienced unconditional affection, you can never again endure wandering alone through this world.

Find you, keep you close.

The curse of love pierced through space and became chains, winding around their necks and slowly tightening.

"Wow, so you're this tiny. My..." The silver-haired man lifted his sunglasses, revealing deep, vivid blue eyes. "Master?"

Eleanor: Trembling in fear.jpg

What should you do when the electronic cat you've been raising jumps out of your phone and wants to eat its owner?!

With a size difference like this, he'll go all the way in one bite!

.

Theme: Don't rely on marriage to survive