Mutual Top-Turner Qixi: This Melon Is So Sweet

A forcibly picked melon leaves both sides repulsed.

A melon you pick yourself makes you fall in love at first sight.

A honeymoon trip with an unfamiliar spouse, and it's a business trip to the Demon Abyss? Damn it, this is cutting into my time for secret rendezvous.

When we get there, the seal is cracked, and demons are running wild. What an eyesore.

Chong Li: Great, now I can vent in broad daylight!

He raises a hand, sends out flames, and sets the sky ablaze with a sizzling roar. The demons turn into charred kebabs in an instant, no skewers needed. I've been holding it in too long. This feels great!

Xiu Lin, watching coldly and still finding time to criticize: It's reasonably efficient, but wasteful and showy. Look at my Jiang Li's fire-control highlights. That's what you call elegance, precision, and conserving mana! Phoenix Divine Lord? Wasted talent, poor technique.

Chong Li, taking a break and unleashing a flood of comments: Oh, look at someone over there mowing down enemies one after another. One sweep of his spear takes out a whole crowd. It looks impressive, but his technique is all brute force. He only knows how to charge in head-on!

Look at my Lord Heng's battle footage. His movement is graceful, his swordplay light and nimble. He can pluck flowers and leaves without touching them, and control the situation within a few feet! God of War? All reputation, no skill.

In short, how can a homegrown melon compare with a wild one?

A little while later.

Wait... something's not right.

Theme: Be careful with online romances. If your identity gets exposed, you'll be crying twice as hard.