Books That Don't Feel Pain and Don't Take Their Injuries Seriously Should Have No CP.

I would like to read a book similar to "The Stealing Pen: Pretending to Be Inscrutable but Beautiful, Powerful and Tragic". Please, please, please, I want the kind that doesn't feel pain, doesn't take my injuries seriously, makes people feel distressed, has no CP, has no CP, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you^ω^