The really angsty kind, where it doesn't count as angst unless it makes you cry! Challenge my tear ducts! I'm pretty tough, a resilient young man who never gives up!
I knelt in the mourning hall of Mrs. Chen, and everything around me seemed to be shrouded in sadness. The mourning hall was decorated with great grandeur, and guests came to express their condolences constantly, but I felt lonely. Master has had no children in his life and has never been married. I am his only relative in this world. For the past seven days, I have been staying here, welcoming batch after batch of people who came to express their condolences. They advised me to rest, but how could I feel at ease? I just watched people coming and going quietly, as if I was witnessing the hasty and unpredictable lives of countless people. By the seventh day, my tears had long dried up, and I knelt down numbly, listening to the ceremonial officer preside over. The sound of the hammer hitting three times seemed to hit my heart hard, and each time it made my hair stand on end. The moment the coffin was sealed, the breath I was holding in my chest suddenly disappeared. I felt a sweet feeling in my heart, and a mouthful of blood spurted out. The crowd instantly panicked and called for a doctor, but even though I was a doctor, I couldn't let myself catch my breath after all, and my heart was seriously injured. When I was confused, I felt myself being gently lifted up by a broad chest. My body suddenly became lighter, and my consciousness gradually faded away. I tried hard to open my eyes, but it seemed like I was being pulled by endless fatigue and couldn't open them no matter what. Then, he fell into a long dream. I seemed to be back in the palace again, walking alone in the long and narrow corridor. Passing through the front facade, a single small building with lights on appears in front of you. I lowered my head and walked slowly towards the small courtyard. The door was ajar, and in the flickering candlelight, the master's serious expression and long beard came into view. He was reading a book intently. I timidly called Master, but he seemed not to hear me. He took out a book from the pile of books and threw it in front of me. I took it silently, found a corner and squatted down, using the faint light of the candle, trying to memorize the words in the book. Although I can understand those words, I have no idea of the deeper meaning. After memorizing it, I put the book back on his desk. He remained silent and just waved his hand. It was midnight inside the palace wall and the lights were dim. I walked out of the small courtyard and walked into a big house. Everyone inside has fallen asleep, but there is only a candle burning on a box next to the bed, and the wick has been cut short. It seems that the owner is afraid of disturbing others' rest. There is a small plate under the candlelight, and there is a small piece of exquisite pastry on the plate, which is only found in noble palaces. I seemed to sit down and pick up the piece of pastry. At this moment, an extremely familiar, gentle and sweet voice sounded in my ears: "Chongchong, I really want to live well like you. You must live well." That voice was like a key, instantly opening the floodgates of my emotions. My nose felt sour and tears came out of my eyes. I sat up in excitement, turned around and shouted, "Miss." But under the bed curtain, I was alone. There were a few candles lit on the table in front of him, and sitting in front of the table was a man wearing a black cloak, with long hair hanging on the cloak, and a golden crown on his head. I opened my mouth and closed it again, knowing in my heart that it was just a dream, a dream that once really happened but now has changed. I gathered up my clothes, put on a robe, got out of bed and walked to the man, saluted softly, and called in a low voice: "Your Majesty." He put his hand on his cheek, as if he was asleep. He woke up from my awakening, frowned, looked at me, and asked with concern: "Is it better?" I nodded hurriedly: "Much better." He hurriedly supported me and said with some complaint: "Chongchong, you still don't believe me? Such a big thing happened, why didn't you tell me? Now you only have yourself, at least you need someone to take care of you." I saluted again: "Did you save me?" Yun Mo was speechless, but raised his hand to gently lift the hair from my cheek, and said softly: "You are still too willful. Sometimes you don't have to force yourself to be so strong. You have to know that I am still in this world." I nodded and bowed slightly: "Thank you, Your Majesty." Seeing that I didn't want to talk more, he turned his head and said quietly: "Old doctor Chen has passed away, and I have chosen a good place for him, the royal tomb of the Chen Kingdom. I know there are some things that are inconvenient for you to talk about, but it is convenient for me. I sincerely hope that if you have any difficulties, you can tell me." I was startled and my eyes widened: "So, you know everything?" He twitched the corners of his lips: "Yes, I know, but since you don't want to say it, then forget it. I don't care, I just hope you can be well." After saying that, he stood up and turned his back to me: "Have a good rest, I will take you to pay homage to Dr. Chen tomorrow, and I will return to Beijing in a few days." After that, he opened the door and left. I looked at his leaving back and said lowly, "Thank you, Your Majesty." He paused for a moment, but said no more and disappeared into the darkness. At this moment, I was not sleepy at all, sitting where he had just sat, with my arms around myself. Thinking back to the chest that gave me support when I was almost mentally broken, I thought, it should be his. He was indeed very good to me. He knew everything about me but never made things difficult for me. On the contrary, he was a little indulgent. But I also know that the person he thinks of, loves, and cares about in his heart has never been me. To him, I am just a substitute, I just have to do my duty. But I can't forget that there are so many relatives who hope that I will live well, including Mo Nianzhu, Mrs. Mo, Dr. Chen... Among the words of these relatives, the most profound one is the sentence "live well". Yes, I must live well and not let them down. I checked my pulse. I was overly sad and my lungs were damaged and needed to be recuperated, so I prescribed medicine. Not long after, the servant brought the medicinal soup. I took a sip, but tears flowed down uncontrollably. This medicine is too bitter, just like my life at the moment, even more bitter than the medicine. This pain makes me tremble all over and plunges me into despair, but I still have to swallow hard, just like I have to work hard to move on in this bitter life. !
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