Help! This Old Body Can't Handle Flirting

[The receiving partner is not feminized! A real middle-aged man on the receiving end! Everyone has unrequited feelings and is going completely off the rails!]

Shen Zhijuan, male, 38, the old doorman in the basement of the Celestial Realms Administration Bureau.

After being forced to bind to the “Wicked Cannon Fodder System,” he wreaks havoc in various instances, trying to clock out as soon as possible.

Playing a kept man from a wealthy family, a burden in the apocalypse, and a greedy dorm supervisor in a horror story...

To provoke the male leads, Shen Zhijuan pulls out all the stops: stealing their food, confiscating their weapons, and smacking them on the head with a giant iron spoon!

But then

The obsessive young master: “Uncle Shen hit me. That means he cares about me!”

The warlord of the wasteland: “Brother Shen made this soup himself. Anyone who touches it dies!”

The vengeful spirit Boss: “Sir, this electric blanket is brand-new. Can I sleep on your floor tonight?”

Shen Zhijuan looks at the max-level powerhouses in front of him, fighting over him until they're bloody, and takes a despairing sip of chrysanthemum tea.

He can't spend another day in this quick-transmigration bureau!