The Fiercest Man in Cao Cao's Camp? No, I'm the Number One Poisoned Strategist

When the strongest man under heaven decided to give up martial arts and take up writing, the entire Three Kingdoms setting went completely off the rails!

The good news: He transmigrated as Dian Wei, the strongest warrior of the late Eastern Han dynasty, able to shatter stone with his fists and split a horse apart with his bare hands.

The bad news: He had just three days before he was shot full of arrows at Wancheng, and his boss was a deranged pervert with a thing for married women!

To stay alive, the human tyrannosaurus took off his heavy armor and squeezed himself into a tight-fitting blue scholar's robe.

At the military camp, when the generals gathered to receive orders, everyone else drew their blades, ready to fight. Dian Wei pulled out a battered pheasant-feather fan instead.

Scene One: Cao Cao asks whether to kill or spare Liu Bei, who has come to surrender.

Dian Wei: "Keep him as a free, high-grade workhorse. Make him chew through the toughest problems and squeeze every last bit of value out of him!"

Cheng Yu and Guo Jia sucked in a breath. "That's a mind darker than ink! And you call yourself a bodyguard?!"

Scene Two: Hundreds of thousands of troops lay siege to the fortified city of Shouchun, and all the generals are scrambling to get themselves killed.

Dian Wei: "Why bother attacking the city? Set up ten huge iron pots in front of the camp and stew some big bones. Let the wind carry the smell into the city and make Yuan Shu starve with envy!"

Ji Ling was so stunned he nearly lost his grip on his blade. "We're at war, and you're opening a hot pot restaurant?! You're even giving out ceramic bowls when people surrender?!"

Cao Cao clutched his chest and shrieked in exasperation. "Dian Elai! I made you a strategist, not the most poisonous schemer who'll wipe out entire families!"