[Marriage first, love later | I steal my own wife | Absurd comedy | Divorce reality show, semi-showbiz | Come give it a try]
[An absurdly funny girl who replies without reading versus a tea-scented puppy: obedient to his older sister, cold to everyone else, throwing elbows at romantic rivals, and unleashing the Eighteen Dragon-Subduing Palms on his adult self]
Xu Yi tried everything to get a divorce, repeatedly lowering her demands for the division of their assets. Even Kong Rong giving up the bigger pears couldn't outdo Xu Yi giving up her share in the divorce.
Then a car accident sent her solemn, aloof husband’s memories back to when he was eighteen.
*
Eighteen-year-old Gu Gou was as obedient as a puppy around her, and he was a master of playing innocent, constantly dishing out sugary, self-pitying lines.
When she hurt him, he said, "Since it's you, big sis, I won't hold it against you."
When she brought up divorce again, he said, "Big sis, I'll be really good. Please don't leave me, okay?"
*
Xu Yi took him on a divorce reality show.
When the audience called him brother-in-law in the comments, he showered them with 9.99 million yuan in red envelopes.
The viewers were moved to tears and instantly united:
"Our brother-in-law didn't even collect wedding gifts from us, and he still gave us red envelopes!"
"We'll defend little Gou's love with our lives!"
Xu Yi's brain was going in circles. How was she supposed to get divorced now?
*
Later, everyone realized Gu Gou was completely different depending on whether Xu Yi was around.
With Xu Yi, he was obedient little Gou; with everyone else, he was cold and distant. He threw elbows at one male guest over romantic rivalry, and unleashed the Ten Dragon-Subduing Slaps on his adult self.
A viewer who worked as a veterinarian analyzed Gu Gou's behavior on the show: he had severe separation anxiety, needed to stick close to his owner, and needed her eyes to stay on him at all times. Otherwise, he'd get so jealous he'd go mad.
Gu Gou thought the viewer was a miracle doctor.
The cure was Xu Yi.
