I, a Deliveryman, Am Mistaken for a Divine Son by the Cultivation World

[Fantasy + Everyone Misreads the Situation + Light System + Comedy and Fun]

My name is Xu Zhu. I'm a courier in an urban village, and I'm panicking.

I was delivering packages, but after waking from a nap, I found myself tied to an offering table and hailed as the divine child the Xuantian Temple had awaited for a thousand years.

"Divine Child, your strange clothes from another world must have been torn by the turbulence of time and space as you crossed the void!"

That's because I hadn't had time to take off my work uniform!

"Divine Child, with a snap of your fingers, you suppressed the Demon Abyss. The Xuantian Temple is saved!"

I just stretched. How the hell did that seal close on its own?!

"When the Divine Child says, 'I was just saying,' it must be a supreme truth: the Great Dao is simple, and salvation comes as it may!"

I just wrote four characters on a whim. Could you stop carving them onto a plaque and hanging it by the entrance?!

I've realized that no matter what I do, these cultivators can come up with some mind-blowing explanation for it.

When I eat, they say I'm absorbing the spiritual energy of heaven and earth.

When I burp, they say I'm expelling impurities from my body.

When I use the toilet, they say I'm circulating energy through my body and purifying my Dao form.

Even more ridiculous, I casually pulled out a stick, and the thing immediately acknowledged me as its master. An old man claiming to be my ancestor emerged from it and keeps nagging me: "Once you've signed for it, you can't return it. You're going to be the Divine Child whether you like it or not."

Me: ???

Now the demonic path is attacking, the Immortal Alliance wants to make me commander-in-chief, and some unknown thing in the void is spying on me.

Heh. This damn turn of events seems... not bad?

I guess I can take at least a little credit for all this, right?