A Spoiled Military Inspector: What's Wrong with Using a Few Dirty Tricks?

[Alternate History] [Strategist Lead] [Unconventional Tactics] [Rousing and Hilarious] [An Utterly Underhanded Master of Enemy Demoralization]

In the chaotic Great Chu era, where people revere the honor of famous generals and favor arranged formations and one-on-one duels, Guo Chao is a complete oddball.

He has not a trace of martial skill, yet with the dirty tricks of a modern keyboard warrior, he drives the era’s great names to the brink of insanity.

When northern barbarian horsemen invade the border, he hurls golden slop, mixes in chili peppers, and shoots poisonous bees. When a rebel navy of three hundred thousand sweeps down the river, he sweeps up all the croton beans and quicklime in the city!

“What good is a famous general’s honor? Staying alive is what matters!”

While other commanders transport provisions and equipment, every leaky coal barge in Guo Chao’s fleet is loaded with targeted bioweapons.

Quicklime reacts with water, smolders, and cracks the enemy ships’ keels. The croton beans vaporize in the heat, forming yellow-green clouds of poison that sweep across the decks.

Even Gu Qingyuan, the literary master of Jiangzuo, is turned into a pig-faced wreck by mustard and chili oil heated in clay pots, then hung upside down off the stern to catch the breeze!

When the Prince of Zhennan gathers his main force of three hundred thousand for a decisive battle, Guo Chao can’t even be bothered to get in the water. He simply sets up a huge black pot on the pebble beach and boils glue to make smoke.

The enemy generals break down in tears: “Please, Your Majesty, send someone normal to fight us! This underhanded inspector is just too despicable!”

The history books say: “Marshal Guo is the greatest coward in history, and the most poisonous strategist of all time!”