Stasi's Surveillance Diary

(This work is set in an alternate East Germany and takes inspiration from Yes, Minister, The Good Soldier Švejk, Catch-22, Long Live the Queen!, and a wealth of East German political jokes and Soviet jokes. Its style leans toward absurdist satire, so please go easy on the historical accuracy enthusiasts.)

Western fantasy, Cold War, science fiction, comedy, politics

In 1985, you are assigned to work at Stasi Department 20, a government agency renowned for being "efficient, rigorous, and reliable."

You soon discover that here:

Supplies are always plentiful, but only on the shelves of the staff shop;

The leadership is always right, but being right does not mean being useful, being useful does not mean being feasible, and being feasible certainly does not mean it can be done today.

As for surveillance assignments?

Let's hear what Halen-Weisschen has to say.

He has long known that the world is a ramshackle operation, and that the state cares nothing for "good" or "evil," only "order" and "chaos."

Even so, he's encountered all kinds of absurdities: field agents who treat church prayers as secret meetings, staff shops that are always short of supplies, investigators who dig up conspiracies just to pad their reports, and paratroopers who open fire on the Stasi. He also has to deal with all sorts of ridiculous assignments: investigating chatter at a milk bar, tracking the circulation of videotapes, and checking up on political jokes circulating among the public.

Landmine smuggling, border disturbances, the fallout from the Middle East oil crisis, and even alien diplomacy come rolling in from outside. The great tides of history wash over every file in this little town.

Years later, someone asks him what those years under surveillance left him with.

"The surveillance is over. Get some rest."

"It's fine. I'll pretend I was never under surveillance."