My Trial Card Gives Me the Runs If I Don’t Use It, So I Make Immortals Run Errands

[Comedy + Spiritual Qi Revival + Misunderstandings + Scheming + Everyday Invincibility]

When an Awakened with a mouthful of fangs comes to my door demanding protection money, I glance at the “spontaneous diarrhea on the spot” countdown with thirty seconds left, then whip out a Netherworld Law Enforcer card!

My name is Jiang Ye, a slacker landlord who exploits the gods to the limit so I never have to suffer public humiliation.

At midnight every day, I’m forced to hand out a card. Erlang Shen, the Great Sage, and Donghuang Taiyi take turns showing up. They can move mountains and fill seas, yet I can only use them to unclog toilets, fix pipes, and put up flyers!

My motto: Never show off myself. Let the gods do the odd jobs and astonish the world!

The forces of evil gather an army for a nighttime raid? The Gatling Bodhisattva, in his infinite mercy, will cleanse your sins with an entire line of depleted-uranium armor-piercing rounds!

With my rule-level blame-shifting skill as cover, the authorities can investigate all they want, but they’ll only find foreign terrorist groups. Meanwhile, I’m raking in money and even pocketing five thousand yuan in consolation money from “concerned citizens who were victims”!

As the System’s Absurdity meter hits max, the Heavenly Court’s labor dispute erupts into all-out chaos!

When the gods and demons of the myriad realms descend in person, the campus beauty and the bigwigs from the authorities stare at the empty shell of a cleaning company under my name and are left dumbfounded. “You call this a ragtag operation?! This is the supreme headquarters of all the realms!”