Shaolin Soccer? I Lead the Kung Fu Women's Team to Dominate the Field

[Nonsense comedy + Advice-Listening System + Hilarious, High-Energy Action + Shaolin Soccer + Grassroots Women’s Football]

Chen Bu’er has just led the Shaolin team to a national championship when his great-granduncle kicks him out at a scrapyard, ordering him to rebuild the bankrupt Emei Kung Fu Women’s Football Team.

Armed with a roster, Chen Bu’er is dumbfounded. The team’s average age is 35. The captain is a lovesick woman desperate to get married, the striker is a once-wealthy heiress reduced to scavenging scrap, the winger throws up whenever she gets nervous, and the goalkeeper is blind!

To make matters worse, their sworn rivals, the Dahe team, show up to challenge them, armed with a list of their weaknesses leaked by his great-granduncle.

At his wits’ end, Chen Bu’er awakens the Ridiculous Advice-Listening System.

His rival sneers, “You want that leftover spinster to score? Tell her she’ll get matched with a rich, handsome guy if she kicks the ball into the scrap bin!”

[Ding! Advice followed successfully! Player skill awakened: Resentment into Power: Matchmaking Rocket Shot!]

A bystander laughs, “A blind woman can play goalkeeper? Only if she can hear the ball’s last words!”

[Ding! Advice followed successfully! Goalkeeper skill awakened: Hear the Wind, Read the Bones: Absolute Prediction!]

When this kung fu women’s football team, cobbled together with “empty promises” and turning the frustrations of everyday life into absurd special moves, steps onto the pitch, the whole world is stunned.

“I told you to build a women’s football team, not trick every auntie at the matchmaking corner into becoming a soccer superstar!”