We Agreed on a Ninjutsu Duel, So Why Did You Pull Out a Flashbang?

After transmigrating to the dangerous world of Naruto, while everyone else is risking life and limb for the sake of bonds, Shang Qi can only ask: What kind of sane person becomes a ninja? I choose to go completely off the rails!

Bound to the [Broken Plot System], he can trade in plot sabotage and driving the original characters up the wall for divine techniques from countless worlds and high-tech weapons that crush them with superior technology!

“Don’t talk to me about the Will of Fire. My mental state is fifty years ahead of the shinobi world. I’m not becoming Hokage of this village today; I’m becoming chairman of the board!”

Kakashi starts preaching teamwork? Shang Qi fires off a military-grade blinding flash grenade, physically exorcising the white-haired jonin from his moment of showing off.

Zabuza and Haku are about to act out a tragic romance? Shang Qi pulls out a “Five Insurances and One Housing Fund Employment Contract.” “You want to die without signing? Isn’t that insurance fraud?”

Orochimaru opens his gaping maw to plant a cursed seal? Shang Qi slaps a purple-glowing cupping device onto him. Not only does it drain the chakra from the cursed seal, it also snaps the old snake’s fangs.

Neji keeps ranting about the Hyuga clan’s fatalism? A “non-Newtonian fluid combat suit” and a copy of “The Genetic Degeneration of Close Relatives” are enough to convince the genius that his faith is shattered!

Then, during the Fourth Shinobi World War, Uchiha Madara kicks open his coffin and shouts arrogantly, “Do you want to dance too?”

Shang Qi silently pulls out a max-level Pokemon Poke Ball and a planet-destroying cannon, then fires up a Heavy Metal death-rock track:

“Old man, if your bones are brittle, quit dancing! The whole shinobi world, do as I say and get hyped!”

The original cast breaks down and wails: Please, tone it down! You’ve warped this world’s entire style all the way into outer space!