The Grave Robbers' Chronicles: Raising Zhang Qiling with a God Simulator

Steam recommended a game so corny it made your toes curl: The Grave Robbers' Chronicles: God Simulator. You scoff and click on it. The instant you put on the VR headset, branches of a bronze tree thrust out through the dense fog. You look down. There's just one little figure, standing all alone beneath the tree's roots, wearing coarse cloth so thin it might as well be paper. “Only one survivor? If he dies, I'm uninstalling!” A shadow darts out, and corpse beetles swarm him. He swings his blade and cuts down two, but his arm is ripped open, and he stumbles backward. You lunge for the controls. Your VR gloves pass through the virtual interface, and your palm settles on top of his head Pay to win! The first “divine blessing” awakens his Qilin bloodline! He suddenly looks up, staring straight at you through the screen, at the empty space beyond it. “God,” he says, “give me a name.” Your mind goes blank, and the name slips out: “Zhang Qiling.” He drops to one knee. You reach out and ruffle his hair twice. His strands slide against your VR glove, and he narrows his eyes slightly.