My name is Shen Xiaolou. The verdict from my spiritual root test was, “We recommend a career change.” The outer sect only took me in as an act of charity.
The sect leader said that if I didn’t reach Foundation Establishment within a year, I’d be kicked out.
I glanced at the pill furnace. I had no spiritual power, but I still had my brains.
I mixed bloodwort with white phosphorus, left the bark on the forsythia root, then used the folk method I’d picked up while traveling to control the heat. Proper alchemists call the result “waste pills.”
But even waste pills have their uses.
Take Gu Changyuan, the Tianxuan Sect’s chief sword cultivator, famous for his cold, abstinent demeanor. After eating one of my “singing pills,” he sang “The Great River Flows East” in front of the whole sect for three days straight.
The entire immortal realm is hunting me down.
He’s the only one chasing after me, eyes red, saying, “Give me another one. I haven’t sung enough.”
Later, he became my Dao companion.
After that, I ascended.
By selling waste pills.
This is the story of a good-for-nothing who turns the cultivation world upside down with unorthodox tricks and, along the way, runs off with the strongest sword cultivator.
